(I typed a long entry already but decided to delete it anyway because I'm tired of typing anyway.)
Sorry to say this but I think I like one of my groupmates. HAHAHA. Of course he's also a nurse, and maybe you've seen him in some of my tagged photos or being mentioned in my recent tweets. Ugh I don't know, I just felt that I like him. K. He's also the same with my former crushes, nothing special. This is weird but I think this crush isn't going anywhere since our training will end this Friday (add 5 more days for thesis revisions and group bondings).
Some may say that he's just average but I think he's intelligent since he was the only one who made our Chapter 1 - 3 in no time. HAHAHA. And then, he's a bit like Tito June Ace who takes care of the kitchen very well. (We had overnights with my groupmates for 2 weekends already) HAHAHA. My groupmate Patricia hacked my FB twice today, posted a crazy status and even tagged the person I'm referring in this entry. Gahd, I'm not even showing any signs of crush but Patricia (I think) has a very good intuition.
Okay, I know this crush will just be short-lived. HAHAHA. BTW, he's cute, tall, and please guess how his eyes look like. KBye.
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Are you ready?
These past few days, my news feed is all about weddings (HS schoolmate and college batchmate) and being invited to a baby shower of my college barkada. Not that I'm not happy for them but a sudden thought bubble popped out of my head while washing my dishes: (if I were in their position) Am I ready for a married life?
I know this is a funny thing especially me talking about it. How come I already thought about marrying when I still don't have someone to marry with? Well, take out the husband-to-be in the equation.
In my past entries, I talked about my future plans for my kids and now, it's all about crossing to what we call, THE REALITY. Starting a family is not a joke. I think, when the couple already thought about marrying, they start to prepare themselves physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially. You will not be just boyfriends or girlfriends that would splurge their salaries to things that will just make them happy for the mean time. When you think of building your future, aside from planning the wedding, you also plan for your future savings. I learned from Papa that Mama already managed his money since 1988, and they married in 1991. (My mom is an accountant, so she must be that good in taking care of finances) Another thing, it's much better if the both of you already had investments while you were still single, or young. It's a nice way to put your money in something that will soon be useful. (I learned this one again from my parents. I'm quite lucky that they put their money into good use)
Wait.. Stop.
I'm not trying to write an entry on how to start your family, but I'm just quite concerned if I would be getting married at the moment. Emotionally and mentally-wise, I'm not yet ready. Even though I act like a grown up woman in the exterior, I'm still a messy kid at home. If you would raid my apartment, you would ask if a Haiyan-like storm bulldozed my place. (Told ya) Next, I can't imagine myself taking care of my kid. Hello, I'm still having fun spazzing over CNBLUE, staying up late to watch all of their videos and stuff. I would be an irresponsible mom at this age. And lastly, I suck in managing finances. (KFly) My uncle shared how he work hard abroad to send money for his family here, and he feels like it's still not enough since my cousin will be in college this coming school year. He also shared how my mom told him the same things when he was still single then, and mama just had me. He said that my mom worked hard to feed me, thinking that milk was just my food then. She made him realize how hard it is to have your own family. I know it's not all about the happiness. There will be tough times, and you can't avoid that. You just have to be ready whenever it lurks on your way.
Well, maybe next time the thought of being pregnant would knock in my thoughts. HAHAHA.
I know this is a funny thing especially me talking about it. How come I already thought about marrying when I still don't have someone to marry with? Well, take out the husband-to-be in the equation.
In my past entries, I talked about my future plans for my kids and now, it's all about crossing to what we call, THE REALITY. Starting a family is not a joke. I think, when the couple already thought about marrying, they start to prepare themselves physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially. You will not be just boyfriends or girlfriends that would splurge their salaries to things that will just make them happy for the mean time. When you think of building your future, aside from planning the wedding, you also plan for your future savings. I learned from Papa that Mama already managed his money since 1988, and they married in 1991. (My mom is an accountant, so she must be that good in taking care of finances) Another thing, it's much better if the both of you already had investments while you were still single, or young. It's a nice way to put your money in something that will soon be useful. (I learned this one again from my parents. I'm quite lucky that they put their money into good use)
Wait.. Stop.
I'm not trying to write an entry on how to start your family, but I'm just quite concerned if I would be getting married at the moment. Emotionally and mentally-wise, I'm not yet ready. Even though I act like a grown up woman in the exterior, I'm still a messy kid at home. If you would raid my apartment, you would ask if a Haiyan-like storm bulldozed my place. (Told ya) Next, I can't imagine myself taking care of my kid. Hello, I'm still having fun spazzing over CNBLUE, staying up late to watch all of their videos and stuff. I would be an irresponsible mom at this age. And lastly, I suck in managing finances. (KFly) My uncle shared how he work hard abroad to send money for his family here, and he feels like it's still not enough since my cousin will be in college this coming school year. He also shared how my mom told him the same things when he was still single then, and mama just had me. He said that my mom worked hard to feed me, thinking that milk was just my food then. She made him realize how hard it is to have your own family. I know it's not all about the happiness. There will be tough times, and you can't avoid that. You just have to be ready whenever it lurks on your way.
Well, maybe next time the thought of being pregnant would knock in my thoughts. HAHAHA.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Give me some space
Honestly, "frustration" post talaga to kaso ewan ko, wala na akong maisip i-type mula ng binuksan ko yung window na to.
Frustration number 1: ANONG KLASENG RESEARCH AND MAGAGAGAWA NAMIN IN TWO MONTHS?
Frustration number 2: DI KO MAKAKASAMA DITO SA APARTMENT YUNG PINSAN KO. Which means kargo ko na naman lahaaaaat ng rent and utility bills.
Frustration number 3: ASAN NA BA YANG MGA TRABAHONG YAN? Sarap magmura kasi mag-iisang taon na akong nag-take ng board exam. Sa July 8, 1 year na akong pumasa. Sa September 26 naman, 1 year ko ng nakuha PRC ID ko. YUNG TOTOO?
----
Ayan ang frustration ng isang unemployed nurse na kagaya ko. KBYE.
Frustration number 1: ANONG KLASENG RESEARCH AND MAGAGAGAWA NAMIN IN TWO MONTHS?
Frustration number 2: DI KO MAKAKASAMA DITO SA APARTMENT YUNG PINSAN KO. Which means kargo ko na naman lahaaaaat ng rent and utility bills.
Frustration number 3: ASAN NA BA YANG MGA TRABAHONG YAN? Sarap magmura kasi mag-iisang taon na akong nag-take ng board exam. Sa July 8, 1 year na akong pumasa. Sa September 26 naman, 1 year ko ng nakuha PRC ID ko. YUNG TOTOO?
----
Ayan ang frustration ng isang unemployed nurse na kagaya ko. KBYE.
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Just a random open letter
(The last time I wrote an open letter here was really really bad. That person happened to read it after a year. Hahaha.)
Hello there buddy!
Sorry if I wasn't able to talk to you last week, I actually don't have any words to say to you. You might think that I might be angry or what, but don't worry, I don't have any problems. I don't want to force myself to talk to you even I don't have anything to say, because yeah, I do suck in lame conversations. I know you really know that.
Another thing is, I wasn't even able to lay my eyes on you, even for a short while. I don't have any explanations for that.
Well, I just wrote this in case you happened to visit my blog. I don't have any other intentions for writing this. I wish you all the best. You'll find it weird that I just wrote this short, but this is just what I have to say, for now. I hope that this will be the last time I'll write about you. Bye!
-Partner
Hello there buddy!
Sorry if I wasn't able to talk to you last week, I actually don't have any words to say to you. You might think that I might be angry or what, but don't worry, I don't have any problems. I don't want to force myself to talk to you even I don't have anything to say, because yeah, I do suck in lame conversations. I know you really know that.
Another thing is, I wasn't even able to lay my eyes on you, even for a short while. I don't have any explanations for that.
Well, I just wrote this in case you happened to visit my blog. I don't have any other intentions for writing this. I wish you all the best. You'll find it weird that I just wrote this short, but this is just what I have to say, for now. I hope that this will be the last time I'll write about you. Bye!
-Partner
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Realizations in a rainy day
~Last night, I witnessed some facets of former friendships. It's quite hard to explain but this just only involves four persons, yet you will be able to see a lot of sides by just knowing the story of those two former inseparable buddies. This entry would definitely end up like a novel if I'd write their POVs here. Haha.
Realization 1: "Iba pala pag napagod ka ng magtanong ng 'Ano ba talaga?'"
Realization 2: So close yet so far
Realization 3: Avoidant personality disorder.
Like I've said before, I won't explain much (basta!) in sorts like this. I never imagined that time flies just like that. It feels just yesterday when you've seen them hanging out like BFFs but now seemed like he's just someone whom she/he only knows, by name.
Is it that hard to mutter a single word? Even a single syllable word like "Hi" or "Hello?" Does even saying that hurts your pride? Or just your silence is the only way for you to cover up your "weak side?" Is taking the initiative to eats you up as a person? Wow, ang arte mo po --I would easily say that, even to myself. But I understand that people has their own personal reasons for their actions.
Distance can be measured from millimeter to kilometer, even miles and light years. But I think, the real measure of distance isn't by the use of those metric systems, but it's the absence of connection, or communication. Yes, you might be sitting right to each other, but without connection or communication, that millimeter distance could turn to light year-like one.
I know communication is vital to every friendships, because it is the fuel that keeps up the flame of friendship between two people. But losing that "fuel" could make a big difference, even at a short time. For me, communication is important, but the real test of friendship isn't the one that is always updated with what's hot or what's not, but being the same old friend that kept his flame of friendship alive despite of the time (and challenges) that passed between the both of you (despite the absence of the fuel).
Lastly, acceptance is important. There will be times that you'll feel like you can't mend what's broken already. Yes, you'll give up and walk away. But wait, take time to understand why things went that way, ask yourself on what you've done already and if no avail, give up, but learn how to accept why those things happen. There must be a reason, always.
-----
I understand that my entry is quite difficult to comprehend. Sorry, sabog lang ako from duty :D
Friday, March 14, 2014
Training kemps #3
So our second week of post-grad training has just ended earlier and we'll be having our clinical duty this Monday. I'm excited but at the same time challenged because I need to act like a professional now, unlike my student nurse days that I still have to ask my clinical instructor about this and that. Phew! I can do this!
Monday
BLS didactics day. I already had my AHA BLS license last August that's why I wasn't enthusiastic enough to participate in our DOH BLS training. In the afternoon, I joined forces with Jam for our BLS practice. Gahd, I feel like my hands were beaten by paddles. I really compressed the dummy well and even did a mouth-to-mouth resuscitation! I can't imagine if I had to do it in real life. Well, we do have bag-valve mask in the hospital, and I should bring a CPR face shield with me anytime (if ever there would be any emergencies).
I stayed up all night to review for BLS and edit for our group report.
Tuesday
BLS practicals day. Jam and I activated our GC-ness and reviewed together. We thought we did well in our adult BLS but we forgot some important actions that's why our grades wasn't that outstanding. I think I sticked with Jam the whole day. :D Even though my hand hurts, I still finished our group's ppt til 1pm.
Wednesday
Group report day. Haha, I dunno why I felt nervous before the report. XD
Thursday
LAAAAATE! I woke up at 7:30 am and our retdem was at 8am! I had to rush to LCP without even taking a bath. HAHAHA. I arrived there at 8:29 and they wasn't even starting yet so I still had time to review. I was not in my usual self because I feel toxic with what we've done in the past few days. I did quite good in CTT, okay in suctioning and in ET care, but worse in Tracheostomy care. I'll do better in our actual duty, promise.
We were dismissed early so I still had time to meet with Cindy :) Again, I stayed up late again because of Jam (Viber-mates) and Allegiant (Tris died. KFLY.)
Friday
Last day!!! We had our post test and I luckily got a decent grade. I was just a point higher than my seatmates. Before our class started, Jam and I were talking about Irish and Mica. I feel like they're acting strange recently, well especially when I don't go with them (including Dean and Cyruz). Well honestly, I have my own choice whether to join you or not. Acting like owning someone in your group is really childish. I'm an independent person and I could hang out with anyone. I open myself to a lot of friendship possibilities. Then, I also feel that the four of them were much tighter now compared the past week I'm with them. I'm not the kind of person to just ride or force to include myself in a tight group of friends. I can go on my own, and I already proved that to myself. I don't need friends to survive (in our training), all I need is myself. I don't need to justify myself to them because we're not kids anymore, they just have to accept that sometimes I get to join them, and sometimes with other groups :) Another one, I was soooo irritated with my right seatmate. (Oh yeah, my weird seatmate with a sinister gaze and smile.) Since elementary to college, I don't want anyone to lay an arm or an elbow in my arm rest (or armchair) since they're depriving me some space to write and I don't want to rub elbows with anyone. If you need proof, go ask Iraki or JA. I moved my chair a lot of times and he still chased for my armrest. Gaaaah, I was already losing my patience earlier that I already cursed in Twitter. I really wanted to punch him in the face.
In the afternoon, we had our tour in the hospital and then we had our Fluids and Electrolytes update. Haha, I was able to answer about Trosseau sign! Yay!
----
Well that's all! I can't think any parting sentence for this entry. Kbye
Monday
BLS didactics day. I already had my AHA BLS license last August that's why I wasn't enthusiastic enough to participate in our DOH BLS training. In the afternoon, I joined forces with Jam for our BLS practice. Gahd, I feel like my hands were beaten by paddles. I really compressed the dummy well and even did a mouth-to-mouth resuscitation! I can't imagine if I had to do it in real life. Well, we do have bag-valve mask in the hospital, and I should bring a CPR face shield with me anytime (if ever there would be any emergencies).
I stayed up all night to review for BLS and edit for our group report.
Tuesday
BLS practicals day. Jam and I activated our GC-ness and reviewed together. We thought we did well in our adult BLS but we forgot some important actions that's why our grades wasn't that outstanding. I think I sticked with Jam the whole day. :D Even though my hand hurts, I still finished our group's ppt til 1pm.
Wednesday
Group report day. Haha, I dunno why I felt nervous before the report. XD
Thursday
LAAAAATE! I woke up at 7:30 am and our retdem was at 8am! I had to rush to LCP without even taking a bath. HAHAHA. I arrived there at 8:29 and they wasn't even starting yet so I still had time to review. I was not in my usual self because I feel toxic with what we've done in the past few days. I did quite good in CTT, okay in suctioning and in ET care, but worse in Tracheostomy care. I'll do better in our actual duty, promise.
We were dismissed early so I still had time to meet with Cindy :) Again, I stayed up late again because of Jam (Viber-mates) and Allegiant (Tris died. KFLY.)
Friday
Last day!!! We had our post test and I luckily got a decent grade. I was just a point higher than my seatmates. Before our class started, Jam and I were talking about Irish and Mica. I feel like they're acting strange recently, well especially when I don't go with them (including Dean and Cyruz). Well honestly, I have my own choice whether to join you or not. Acting like owning someone in your group is really childish. I'm an independent person and I could hang out with anyone. I open myself to a lot of friendship possibilities. Then, I also feel that the four of them were much tighter now compared the past week I'm with them. I'm not the kind of person to just ride or force to include myself in a tight group of friends. I can go on my own, and I already proved that to myself. I don't need friends to survive (in our training), all I need is myself. I don't need to justify myself to them because we're not kids anymore, they just have to accept that sometimes I get to join them, and sometimes with other groups :) Another one, I was soooo irritated with my right seatmate. (Oh yeah, my weird seatmate with a sinister gaze and smile.) Since elementary to college, I don't want anyone to lay an arm or an elbow in my arm rest (or armchair) since they're depriving me some space to write and I don't want to rub elbows with anyone. If you need proof, go ask Iraki or JA. I moved my chair a lot of times and he still chased for my armrest. Gaaaah, I was already losing my patience earlier that I already cursed in Twitter. I really wanted to punch him in the face.
In the afternoon, we had our tour in the hospital and then we had our Fluids and Electrolytes update. Haha, I was able to answer about Trosseau sign! Yay!
----
Well that's all! I can't think any parting sentence for this entry. Kbye
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Training kemps #2
I just finished doing our group report. Gaaah, my hands are tired since this morning because of our BLS return demo, and then when I arrived at home I immediately typed our report.
I'm quite disappointed with my BLS. I think I suck in it. HAHAHA. I went "bobey" during my AHA BLS (but I think its worse) and I almost failed the exam. Though I felt disappointed, it was my groupmate Jam who made me happy today. She's from FEU-NRMF and we're partners for BLS since yesterday. We're the GC kids of our class. Haha. Any, I felt like I'm distancing myself from my 4 friends. I know I'm weird but I feel comfortable with silent or loner type of people and I can't keep up with the topics of my 4 friends. Well, I really can't explain now since I feel sleepy already. I just blogged just to update the world wide web on what's happening in my life. Well, it's also some sort of documentation, you know :)
I feel 'toxic" with our RetDem for Respi skills. Gaaaaah.
K. Good night!
I'm quite disappointed with my BLS. I think I suck in it. HAHAHA. I went "bobey" during my AHA BLS (but I think its worse) and I almost failed the exam. Though I felt disappointed, it was my groupmate Jam who made me happy today. She's from FEU-NRMF and we're partners for BLS since yesterday. We're the GC kids of our class. Haha. Any, I felt like I'm distancing myself from my 4 friends. I know I'm weird but I feel comfortable with silent or loner type of people and I can't keep up with the topics of my 4 friends. Well, I really can't explain now since I feel sleepy already. I just blogged just to update the world wide web on what's happening in my life. Well, it's also some sort of documentation, you know :)
I feel 'toxic" with our RetDem for Respi skills. Gaaaaah.
K. Good night!
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