Will. Drive. Motivation.

These days, I feel like dragging myself to work. I just want to be on my bed the entire day and sleep. When I'm at work, I can't wait for my 2 days off so that I could rest my heavily battered self.

Sometimes I feel so lazy about going to work. There are times that I regret taking up this profession. I could've chose a course that will make me work in an office, not in a hospital where every seconds matters. I should've chose to be an accountant just like my mom so that I'll be working in an office setting (but lola said that I won't even be an accountant in my dreams because I'm so bad in mathematics). I'm losing a bit of my drive because of the current work conditions that I'm experiencing. (I know that I'll have to deal much worse that what I'm experiencing right now.)

Personal drive, will, inspiration: That's what I'm lacking right now. Honestly speaking, that's where I gather my strength, but the absence of it makes me a weak. Well, I'm losing it right now as you predicted. I'm a person who gets motivation from my surrounding, but loses it when I have nothing to get out of it. I guess I'll get motivated or inspired again once I try to apply for work abroad. You must be saying that I should get my motivation to do well at work bu thinking about going abroad, well, it doesn't work that way.


Well, my thoughts is a mess right now. I can't pit this post into a complete conclusion. Bye

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Bad bad bad bad bad bad girl

Mommy had just called and after a long while, our conversation ended up on my controversial stained clothes and then spewing out some discontentment at home. So here, lemme just enumerate some bad traits I really can’t erase.

1. Sharp tongue

I guess I was really born with this unusual sharp tongue that I most likely had inherited from my mother, who was the queen of sharp tongue in our family. Honestly, I don’t throw out some sharp words to people face to face since I do worry if they get offended. But once I spill out my disappointments to other people, that’s when you get stabbed by my words especially when I say it in my dialect. Hahaha. As of now, I’m so disappointed in some of my relatives who doesn’t make logical judgment, and just go with the first thing that comes into their minds. Was it that hard to refrain for a while and think well? They’re also so sensitive that it irks me so much. Like what I have done could totally kill, when in fact that I know what I’m doing because I studied it for almost ¼ of my life. Ugh.

2. The girl who can’t be moved

Sorry, this isn’t a hugot thing really. I can’t remember whether I posted something about my stained clothes that was my total favorite, and then the same thing happened when a top of mine got stained after the first time I wore it. Well, it been months since those things happened and I can’t seem to move on. I treasure my clothes so much since I don’t usually buy new ones that often. Mommy told me that I should let go of the little things. I easily let go other things except from those clothes I loved. Idk, am I that possessive or what? I hope I’d let go of it but I’m pretty sure the road that I have to take isn’t that easy.

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