Flatter me more

After watching Kamisama Hajimemashita, I still feel so kilig with Tomoe and Nanami until a BBM contact made me feel grumpy this morning.

He greeted me "good morning" while I replied the same, too. And then, he asked me if he could add me in Facebook and I said it's okay. Then after seeing my DP, he started saying that he finds me cute or whatsoever (and I don't really care). Actually, those flattering descriptions didn't made me happy, but it made me annoyed. Srsly. I hate it when someone spoils my day, especially when my day isn't even starting because I haven't slept yet. 

Aside from that, I find guys like him annoying. They can be easily blinded by superficial beauty especially by judging through facebook pictures. He also sent me a picture of my DP through BBM. Srsly, I HAVE MY OWN COPY OF THAT IMAGE, STUPID!

Few days ago, a former HS batchmate who studied in our rival school before chatted me through FB and asked me if what am I doing now since I already graduated and chuchu. Since I KNOW guys like him (KAMOWN! Do I have to enumerate my high school suitors before who made the same move? THEY'RE SO PREDICTABLE. PLAIN. NONSENSE), I was able to know where our conversation will flow. And then he ASKED me if I have a BOYFRIEND right now. 

Honestly speaking, I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND. So what?

But I told him that I ALREADY HAVE A BOYFRIEND who's also from FEU. He even asked for more details about MY ALLEGED BOYFRIEND, so I made a story that we've been together for 2-3 years already and we just kept it a secret to my family and friends. Then, he told me that he was actually thinking that P (not that person's initial) was my boyfriend! HAHAHA. And what made him think that there will be a possibility that P and I will make a couple? HAHAHAHA. Lunatic.

Any, P was T's (the FB chatter) classmate from Elementary to High School. Last year, P tried to court me but I dumped him that very same day telling him that I dont like him. Sorry for being harsh, but I don't want to commit myself to a person that I don't like. I didn't felt a bit of pity for P. He persisted to court me and even went to FEU all the way from Perpetual-Las Pinas (he was a football varsity there) to meet me, but I didn't had any plans to meet him in that very same day and I don't want to give false hopes. Besides, it will be such an effort for me to go to school even though I don't have any business there. Sadly, I dumped him thrice. His elem friends (who were my HS friends) explained everything to him why I dumped him. Even though I wasn't able to explain myself (and I don't need to!), my friends were there to defend my side. Now, he added me on Facebook and on Twitter but I blocked him. 

I have refused guys during my senior year because I liked someone, but now it's a different story. Since I'm in the REAL world now, I have to be careful with who I wanted to be with. I'm not an experimental person, once I decided on a serious thing, I want it to be permanent or long-lasting. 

From ranting about that certain BBM contact, to that FB chatter T, and P, it made me conclude that I'm already a man-hater now. HAHAHAHA. After graduating, I'm really not in the mood to mingle with "boys" because I'm currently looking for a "man." Back-off kiddos, I'm gonna find my man, soon! :)

Perks on being an only child

And if you happen to be the only child in the family, you're the luckiest man on Earth. Seriously speaking, yes, you are.

I must say that I'm lucky to be the only child of my parents, even though my dad really wanted a baby boy, but sorry, there must be problem when your chromosome handed a Y instead of an X. Well, genetically speaking. So, here I am, a full-grown lady who just had graduated with a bachelor's degree. After I was born, my parents are still planning to have another baby, even though Mama was already 33 when she had me, while Papa was 35 at that time. Sorry, but my parents really enjoyed their single lives that they planned to marry at the age of 31 and 33, respectively. To continue this very long story of mine, my mom died when I was 2 years old, so having a baby brother wasn't materialized.

These perks started when I was brought my grandparents after my mom's death since no one will take care of me and Papa's working abroad for our living. Knowing Filipino grandparents, they will literally spoil you in a lot of things: toys, books, foods, clothes, everything! Aside from that, Mommy (my mama's elder and only sister), always sends me some Barbie dolls, new clothes, shoes, and books. I really loved reading books way back then. :)

So, having everything you wanted was the best thing in life, of course. But not everyone has this so-called "perfect" life. I was regularly hospitalized before due to my asthma then later ruled out to be a heart problem (not that "heart" problem when you were dumped by your crush for two years!). Hospital was like my second home, and a ship as my third home since I'm always sick and I was regularly brought to Puerto Princesa to have my regular check up. Think about the sacrifices by Lola and Lolo but most especially Nanay who took care of me and helped me live for almost 2 decades.

Whenever my friends or classmates tells me "Ang hirap maging only child kasi ikaw lagi yung nakikita pag may mali," I tend to laugh it off cause I never experienced that in my entire life. Aside from those kiddie stuff or should I say my early pasaway days, I never had any serious problem (especially teenage, relationship, or family-related) with Lola and Nanay. Why? Because we knew each other very well, and they don't blame me for things that I'm not even connected. And I'm even proud to say that I didn't caused headaches to them even in college. Another thing that makes our bond stronger, it's because they trust me very well and all they have to do is just to remind me, and support me in anything that I want. Besides, they're confident that they raised and cultivated me well, that I will not stray my path.

When it comes to attention, I have the attention that I want even I don't ask them. Haha. In our family, I was tagged as  the Pambansang Apo, which means that I'm the apple of the eye of my grandparents. But I can't blame them because I grew up with them. Then, I'm the only child among my 8 cousins in my mother side and 23 in my father side, so I'm always the special kid. Even in my paternal side, they always treat me like a princess. In terms of attention and love, I never lacked it in my whole life. Everyone's love and attention are overflowing.

But do you know the disadvantage? You don't have brothers or sisters to play with. I longed for brothers and sisters when I was 4-7 years old because I always see our neighbors playing with their siblings, or attend the mass with them. While I, the solo kid, feels like a sore loser when I don't have a Kuya or Ate to call when I feel alone. Come early teenage days, I wanted to have a tough brother who will defend me or will be my knight-in-shining armor if there will be someone who will try to hurt me, and a kikay sister who will curl my hair or dress me up. I always dreamed of having those people in my life

I know that God has a plan for me, and he gave me friends who were eventually became my siblings. I had different kinds of brothers, a "simpatikong" younger brother whom I treat as an older brother, a brother who's really fond of shopping, a very serious brother, a brother whose laugh will be a very good wake-up call, etc. And I also have a sister who's experiences were the same as mine, a sister who loves to dress me up, and scolds me whenever I skip classes, a sister who's so cute (she claimed it!), and a tough sister. Yes, I found all of them, and I lost count on them already. Haha. They might not be my siblings by blood, I still consider them as my true siblings.

And to end this post, lemme greet my dad a Happy Fathers Day. As of this post, I dunno where's Papa right now since I can't contact him through his phone. Or he's just planning for a surprise today. I dunno! Any, it's your day, Dad! Enjoy!

Lessons

Sometimes, watching Koreanovelas can help you realize something.

Lately, I feel like I'm such an insensitive daughter to my dad. Even though we live now under the same roof, still, we don't talk that much. Maybe because I think he's "busy" with other things or I'm just not in my regular self. As you all guys know, I can't stand a day without talking to someone. But now, since I'm getting used of being alone, I can do it already.

Awhile ago, Mom (my Mama's only sister) called me up and asked me about my very BUM life. She also shared what Papa told her when they had a chance to talk. Papa said that I'm making him as my servant, but I said that it's just natural for a parent to serve his daughter since it's been a while (or should I say, in my lifetime) that he haven't served me as a visible parent.

Aside from that, I'm also ranting about some chuchuness and chuchu to Mommy. Good thing I know how to control myself whenever I'm talking to Papa. I admit that my father and I have a "strained relationship" but it didn't hinder me to be a good daughter. I finished college without causing a lot of trouble. I think it's the essence of being a good and well-raised daughter.

After talking to Mommy, and spending the whole night without uttering any single word (mag-isa lang ako sa apartment), a lot of things are running in my head especially what mom told me. I know my dad is a passive person. He doesn't initiate a conversation, or raise his voice, or argue on a topic. But honestly, I hate it, because I hate lame people. Okay, let's say that we have our own individuality, but why can't he adjust himself for his daughter? I know it's not right to blab these kind of things here, but I need to release it. As what my Tito Alvin told me "Don't be like that to your dad. Lalayo yung blessings sayo." And growing up with Lola and Nanay who values tight family bonds, I think I forgot what they taught me when I was young. My mind was overshadowed with shallow thinking and minding what I want and what I hate. Maybe I need to adjust myself to my dad (whose personality that I really don't know since I didn't grew up with him and I don't really know how to deal things with him).

May God give me enough patience and understanding most especially that I'm in my young adulthood stage and I need a lot of it as I cruise in this roller coaster life.

WEIRD DREAM!

#ICAPSLOCKMOPARAINTENSE!

SRSLY, napanaginipan ko kanina na I failed the board exam. NOOOOOOOOOO! Creepiest dream ever! Grabe, sana di magkatotoo yun! HUHUHUHUHUHU

on carrying girls bags

I was supposed to blog about this topic months ago, but a scene from TTBY reminded me of this. So here, Im going to blog about my own thoughts on men carrying girls bags.

But before anything gets serious, let me insert Eros Atalia's quote from his book :) “Hindi din ako nagpi-prisinta na dalhin ang gamit ng mga babae. Lalo na ang bitbitin ang kanilang shoulder bag. Hindi dahil ayokong isiping bading ako. Ang sa akin lang, nabuhat nga nila yung bag mula bahay hanggang school, tapos kapag nakakita ng lalake, bigla silang manghihina.” 

Honestly, it's a nice view when you see boys carry a girl's bag. The first thing that enters your mind is that "He's such a gentleman" or "He's so sweet." And girls definitely dream of having their own "bag-carrier." HAHAHA. On my part, I also dream of having a guy like that, and as I age, I think it's kinda corny when guys do that, especially when they do it because of a certain reason, not for being a gentleman. 

Let me cite an example. Last October, I went out with my former "eme". That time I was carrying a heavy bag that contains my school uniform (because I had an exam before we met that afternoon), shoes, laptop, and notebooks. He noticed that my bag is huge that day, and said "Ang bigat ng bag mo. Ako na magdadala." And I asked him why. I'm kinda used to carry heavy bags since high school. Hey, I got strong shoulders, you know. "Bakit?" "Para naman ma-experience mo maging boyfriend ako." Yes? And carrying a girl's bag signifies a good boyfriend? WOW! I didn't know about that!

In my early days in college, no one ever bothers to carry my bag. And I don't care, I can carry it all by myself, and I don't need someone to carry my things to make them look good as a person. Sometimes, I do ask people to carry some of my things, well, light and handy things only. But it's still different when a person voluntarily carries your things, because they know that it is right, not by any other superficial and hypocrite reasons.

As of this post, I only experienced being asked by a person once if he could carry my bag was during my final semester. The reason? Because a heavy and expensive camera of our friend is in my bag. Knowing that a lot of bad elements surrounds our school, we have to take care of it. Haha. One thing that makes me smile whenever I remember that evening was because of my bag's color, pink :D Just think of a handsome man who carries a pink jansport bag :D 

Even though it's not because of a mushy reason why that person carried my bag, still, it really feels good to see someone carry your bag. Because for me, my bag is "not just a bag", it contains my world :)