Lately, I feel like I'm such an insensitive daughter to my dad. Even though we live now under the same roof, still, we don't talk that much. Maybe because I think he's "busy" with other things or I'm just not in my regular self. As you all guys know, I can't stand a day without talking to someone. But now, since I'm getting used of being alone, I can do it already.
Awhile ago, Mom (my Mama's only sister) called me up and asked me about my very BUM life. She also shared what Papa told her when they had a chance to talk. Papa said that I'm making him as my servant, but I said that it's just natural for a parent to serve his daughter since it's been a while (or should I say, in my lifetime) that he haven't served me as a visible parent.
Aside from that, I'm also ranting about some chuchuness and chuchu to Mommy. Good thing I know how to control myself whenever I'm talking to Papa. I admit that my father and I have a "strained relationship" but it didn't hinder me to be a good daughter. I finished college without causing a lot of trouble. I think it's the essence of being a good and well-raised daughter.
After talking to Mommy, and spending the whole night without uttering any single word (mag-isa lang ako sa apartment), a lot of things are running in my head especially what mom told me. I know my dad is a passive person. He doesn't initiate a conversation, or raise his voice, or argue on a topic. But honestly, I hate it, because I hate lame people. Okay, let's say that we have our own individuality, but why can't he adjust himself for his daughter? I know it's not right to blab these kind of things here, but I need to release it. As what my Tito Alvin told me "Don't be like that to your dad. Lalayo yung blessings sayo." And growing up with Lola and Nanay who values tight family bonds, I think I forgot what they taught me when I was young. My mind was overshadowed with shallow thinking and minding what I want and what I hate. Maybe I need to adjust myself to my dad (whose personality that I really don't know since I didn't grew up with him and I don't really know how to deal things with him).
May God give me enough patience and understanding most especially that I'm in my young adulthood stage and I need a lot of it as I cruise in this roller coaster life.
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