Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Hey you!

Hello my dearest blog, sorry for not updating you always since my life was really bland these past few months and I felt like a decaying matter inside my apartmenr. Although I have a lot of things to share, please give me some space to share my feelings.
If you happen to read my past entries, it's been a long time since I had friendship-related hanash, so please bear with me since I really have to let it out even though I might regret it soon.
~Hello my dear friend, it wasn't that long ago when I officially reconnected (??) my ties with you. And before our recent meeting, we also bonded with our other friends somewhere. It seems to me that things are quite okay for me now, and that I won't have to deal with awkwardness anymore. But recently, my actions in our recent meeting made quite a misunderstanding for the people around us. I was really passive that night, not in my usual happy self, and avoided a lot of people. I may have avoided other people but not you since we also happened to talk before I went out to have my "me-time." To tell you honestly, I don't want my "me-time" to be a big thing. I don't want to explain anymore why I wanted to read my book more than going out and spend socializing with the kids. What I've done may be deemed as rude if I was with a parent that time, but I think I've never done wrong by just lying on the couch and read the entire night. Okay, I wrote and explained too long about my me-time, and I know you wouldn't even care. Well, boys are boys. Moving on, the next thing that happened was the one that made me feel like a beaten warrior. (And yuck, it's kinda exaggerated tho.) You were there when everything was happening. Yes, as my usual self, I laughed it off, but deep inside, I wasn't really happy. At some point, I asked myself if it was a big mistake that I was too honest with my feelings then, or if I was too carefree to just let people make me look like a fool in front of you. (I'm not mad with those people , but with what they did.) Despite of every word that were bombed to me, you're more of an invisible person more than a spectator. And then friendship comes in. After all the teasing (some are friendly, mild, vut there are also extreme and offending ones), you never attempted to utter a single word, not even trying to stop those things, or defending me. Honestly, that really hurted me. All these time, I took it alone, but when you're there listening, I felt more alone and helpless. And then I asked myself, "Are you a real friend?" I never had any memories of you trying to defend me. I never asked you to do it, but I hope it crossed your mind that I also needed help. I may seem strong, but it doesn't mean I'm strong all the time. There was a part of me saying that you just kept your mouth shut because you don't want to be dragged to my place. But I hope you were sensitive  enough that time. I'm writing this rant entry not as a person who liked you before, but as a troubled friend who sometimes need a person to stand up for her. There were a lot of girls who were in a situation like me, and you even know them. I hope that if ever it happens to someone you know, be that person who will defend them and make them feel that what they used to "feel" isn't a bad thing, or something to be mocked, or making fun of. I doubt if this thing will ever cross your mind, and knowing the male species, this will never ever cross your mind. Even though I wanted you to read this, but it's too late already. Since I'll be moving to another place, it will might take us years before we meet again. I hope you had erased the past image of myself as a giddy college girl who secretly liked you (yeah, it was really embarassing typing it here). I hope that when we meet again, you'll play things cooly (like I pretended I'm doing), than being what you just did all these time.
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If you're an avid reader (oh yes avid reader-slash-advo blogger), you'll definitely know who I'm talking about, and how weird and disorganized (in terms of thought) my entries are.
I'll post some good news soon. Kbye.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Annyeong!

('Cause I can't think of a decent title.)

I'm a bit surprised that there are some people who are still visiting my blog. Sorry guys if I'm not posting any "juicy" entries here since my life has been bland these days. Well, my life has been very bland since I graduated, and blame it to my unemployment. -______-

I've been very busy these past few weeks as my cousin's alalay. I've been accompanying him to his interviews, and then after he was hired, I still served as his alalay from getting his NBI clearance to completing some of his requirements for his job. He was lucky enough to be hired after a week of his interview. *cries*

Well, I'm "quite" happy that he's here since I'm not a waetoriya (loner) anymore but I feel like I'm not comfortable sharing an apartment with someone after a long time. Another thing is, since we're blood type O, we're both messy and there are times that I feel like it's suffocating already. Hahahaha. Kuya and I gets along well but I scratch my head very hard whenever he asks me about some directions here in Manila. For 2 weeks already, we've toured Metro Manila but he can't even remember those places we went. Worse, I already taught him how to commute from this place to our apartment but can't remember a single thing. Gahd, it was a hard task to make him remember those places I pointed him. -_________- Haha, my girl cousin was way better than him in terms of commuting or going to places she's unfamiliar with, alone. (I think this became a rant entry already. HAHAHA) Another thing that pisses me aside from his sense of direction was his sense of closeness. (Lemme explain. Example: "Uy Lhea, anlapit lang pala ng Eastwood dito." And I was like "WTH with malapit??") Well, I know he's not that familiar with some places here in Manila but whenever I accompany him, he doesn't make the effort to know the places we're going to, the jeeps we've been riding, or the area we dropped off. There was also a time when I already got off the jeep and then he's still there sitting, not noticing that I already went off the jeepney. That was a facepalm moment. -_______- I hope he'll improve his sense of direction, commuting skills and manners when he starts his training this Monday. Well atleast I could work on my applications already :)

Last Monday, I already got my certificates at Lung Center of the Philippines and I was ranked 19 in our batch. Originally, I've been eyeing the top 10, but since I had 6 absences and had a not-so good impression with the Division Chief (which later on changed when she observed that I'm an enthusiastic kid, and that single absence in our seminar[which caused a big ruckus in our batch] doesn't define me as a nurse trainee and as a person. Well, her blood pressure went up because of me when I asked her why she only pointed us when there were other kids that was absent since the start of our seminars, and worse, faked that they attended the seminar! [Haha, I know I have a point, so why not defend it?]), I expected that I will be on the average pack. It kinda surprised me that the staff nurses and the head nurses gave me good grades during our exposures in the  wards. Ugh, I only spent my summer in the hospital (training) and at home (sleeping). I could'nt imagine how boring it is just to go home and sleep then wake up just to attend your duty. Well, that's a nurse life. #dealwithit.

Moving on, after 3 months of delay (we've finished our manuscript last May and was checked by the panelists for more than a month [longer than the period I stayed in Palawan]), our thesis was already printed and bookbind. Well, before those printing and bookbinding happened, I've met with Cyruz at Infinitea to compile our thesis, then found out that the bibliography was missing. Well, after what happened in our early thesis days, I had this phobia whenever I do "palpak" things around him. I feel like he would scold me like a dad anytime. Well, I'm scared of how his voice would go down. Good thing I  found in in my mail. After we got our certificates, he already began laughing and I was relieved that he would never be pissed again. Hahaha. Actually I'm scared of him more than my dad. gahd, I'm scared on someone who's 6 months younger than me. Err #medyonakakahiya.

These days, I'm LSS with Super Junior's Mamacita. Hahaha, I know you'd hate me if I'll write things about them in detail here. I became a fan of SuJu because of Heechul since there were vids on Youtube where FT Island's Lee Hong Ki talked about him and I watched some of his vids as a SuJu member then later on went hooked with his drama, Flower Grandpa Investigative Team. After that, I became interested with their group and watched their variety shows. I'm familiar with their song, Sorry Sorry, since I heard them in college and there were a lot of people dancing it before. Haha, I was also able to danced a bit of it for our health teaching program. Then, Heechul became my bias (favorite), then later I had an eye on Siwon (I don't usually like looking on someone's abs, but his were reaaaally distraaaaactiiiiing!), Leeteuk (we had the same personlity, well uh, leeteuk+heechul), and Sungmin (he's sooooo cute whenever he's doing some aegyo, which also reminds me of FT's Minhwan). Everyone in the group has good singing voices but I'd say that Kyuhyun, Ryeowook, and Yesung has the best voices. I'd add Sungmin also since he's a musical actor (obviously he could sing), and Heechul (whose voice will bring you back to 80's or 90's. His voice fits well in love songs and ballads). :)

Any, my wrist is aching already so I need to end this here. I'll update you soon guys!

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Extra Challenge

"God gives the toughest battles to its strongest warriors."

In my entire life, I've been through a lot of health problems, like asthma, heart disease, and now, a health problem that might take me anytime soon. Well, it's not yet confirmed if what was the sickness that I have right now, but I know where this is heading. I'm afraid that this will hamper the life I've been dreaming of, and will cause a lot of sadness and sacrifices for me and my family. This sounds like I'm overacting but I'm really scared on what will happen in the future. I've never been scared like this before.

I haven't told Lola and Papa about this, but Mommy and Kuya already knew since I was talking to them when I found about "this." (To clear this up, I'm not pregnant.) I'll be having a check up this coming week and have some lab tests to see if this is really what I'm suspecting. I'm a nurse and I can already tell if something is happening to my body. I already researched about the problem that I'm suspecting and currently taking some measures.

 I feel like God is really testing me to my limits since I was born until I reached this age. I dunno what he's up to but I know he has great plans for me even though I'm also afraid that his "plans" might not be materialized because of this challenge he has given me. I don't know what to do now since there's a lot of things that are clouding up my mind. Honestly, I have only one person in mind whom I want to talk to right now, but unfortunately, I won't be able to hear her advice.

Think positive Lhea! Kaya mo yan!

Saturday, July 26, 2014

I'm back.. again

I'm back! Sorry for my whole month of silence since I'm just too tired of writing these past few weeks. (I'm currently writing for a sports site this UAAP season.) I just went back from Palawan, two Fridays ago. Well, my lola was sent to the hospital last June 16 and I flew immediately there last June 18. Luckily, my Lola recovered very fast after a week in the hospital. Haha, my family knows my mere presence can already cure Lola's sickness :))

I was already planning to go to Palawan after my training but Lola asked me to stay here in Manila instead. But since unfortunate events are inevitable, so I easily went there after less than a day of preparation. (You gotta follow Mommy's orders) When I arrived, I never left the hospital. Haha, Lola's room was reaaaally comfortable. (Suite room it is!) Aside from that, I enjoyed sleeping (during morning and afternoon) and watching animes, KPop-related shows, and alien-related documentaries :))

I missed being a nurse during my entire stay in the hospital. And yes, I regulate her IV pump sometimes, change her diapers, carry her commode, and prepare her food. It feels good to serve your grandmother specially during the times when she needs you the most. I felt like I served my former granny patients better than her.

During my vacation last year, she asked me to stay there for good but I declined since I felt that I will have a better future here in the city, but last month, I thought that it would be much better if I just went back to the province. Honestly, I already decided that if things won't work out well here in Manila, then I'll go back to my simple life in Palawan. It would be much better if I will stay by my grandmother's side now that she's getting older. I also don't want to leave her because I do miss her every single day.

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I can't finish this entry. T.T

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Early morning realizations

Lately, I've been asking myself what I really want to do in my life. After my 3-month training, I'm back with my unproductive self, and doing exactly nothing just like last year. Honestly, I really want to work already but opportunities aren't even coming my way.

Earlier this week, I searched for some BPO-related jobs online. Luckily, I was invited for an interview in a company somewhere in BGC. I went there not knowing what to do. I just thought that I'll just go with the flow. If ever they'll accept me, then it's good. If not, then maybe I'll just think about it later. I was just desperate to have a job that's why I tried my luck there. They told me that the result will be released after a day, and unluckily, I didn't received any email from them. Turns out, I failed.

A day before my interview, I told myself that if I won't get hired, maybe that job isn't for me. And it looks like it. Actually, I'm just the one pressuring myself to get a job because I feel that I'm already a heavy burden to my family. Well, I still get allowances from Lola and Papa and I never heard them ranting about my unemployment or even pressuring me to look for a job. I should've applied for a job after I passed the exam, but I chose to get a rest instead.

Sometimes, I blame myself for choosing a course that doesn't have good job opportunities. I know that Nursing isn't in demand nowadays, or even during my college life but I still pursued it. I also thought about shifting to Mass Communications but because of Nanay's last wish, I continued Nursing. There are times that I think I suck in my decisions but I know later on, I will learn from it.

Last Sunday, I started watching Emergency Couple. I enjoyed that drama because it was set in a hospital's ER. Of course, there will be patients, doctors, and especially nurses. Unknowingly, I was already shouting in front of my laptop on what the doctors and the nurses should do, and even brainstorming (on my own) on what was the patient's diagnosis. And because of that, I realized what I really want to do in life. I want to be a person who will save other people, and make them feel well. I guess I was really born to be a life saver. LOL. I wanted to be a doctor, in the first place. But because of some circumstances, I decided not to pursue it anymore and chose to be a nurse instead. Well, they're performing almost the same and works side by side. I guess, I should just stick with  my own profession :)

I guess I just have to endure any problems that will go along my way. I'm fortunate to have a good family, and I know that time will come, and I will be able to repay what they've done. This unemployment will surely come to an end. I should work well, pray hard, and trust whatever God has planned for me.

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I've been worrying a lot these days. Well, I felt better after blogging this one :)

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Yo Momma!

I woke up super early today so to kill the time, I decided to watch We Got Married (well, especially the episodes where the CNBLUE boys appeared). While browsing the episode guide, I was quite curious in an episode where Seo Hyun (yes, SNSD) met Yong Hwa's omma (mother). To share what happened during their meeting, YH's mom was really accomodating, cute, funny, and appreciative. Looks like she approves SH as her daughter-in-law (WGM is just a virtual marriage show). And I just noticed that SK guys adore their moms so much.

Actually, that episode gave me the reason to blog today. Well, I won't fangirl on YongHwa this time but I want to explore my inner thoughts if ever I would be a soon to be daughter-in-law, and maybe a future mother-in-law.

In my current situation, I don't think that I'll be qualified to be a soon to be daughter-in-law because I don't even know how to cook. Well, I'm doing good in frying lately and then I also cooked adobo (which tastes very good). I think I would be more proud if I'd be able to cook my favorite sinigang and nanay's signature beef steak. (And my tummy says *growl* literally) Moving on, aside from the cooking skills that I lack, I think I'd definitely get a plus points when I get to talk to my future in-laws. Haha, you know me, I'm really good in conversations. :) I know that I'm not the kind of person who likes to give presents, so I have to make up for it. But if fortunately I have to budget, well I'll definitely buy something. It's just that I'm not good in choosing gifts. HAHAHA. Since elementary, I already had a "biyenan" (mother-in-law)! Hahaha. Well, she was my classmate-slash-crush's mom. She's very good to me, and until now, she still calls me to check me up. There were times during high school that they wished that I could be a future member of their family. Lol. It's funny that I get to share these things here but you know, I'm not really serious with the in-law thingy before. It's just that our families were very close before :D

Moving forward, even though I don't have any kids yet, I feel excited to be a future mother-in-law! HAHAHA. (Funniest thing you've ever heard from me) Well, I always wanted to have a son and it would be really perfect if I get to meet his future wife. I'm always the ecstatic person in every event, you know. Even to my friends' bf/gf, I get too excited to meet them. Well, the excitement would be much different when it comes to my son. Haha. As of now, I don't have any qualifications for my future daughter-in-law because as you all now, I myself doesn't even have my future in-laws. HAHAHAHA. Well, I'll just think about it few years from now. :)

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I just noticed that my blog can already be a family guide. Haha. From tales of an NBSB, to marriage, how to raise your kids, and how to be an in-law. HAHAHAHA. :)

Monday, June 2, 2014

Updates!


  • Tired with all these editings and revisions stuff. 
  • I.NEED.A.JOB
  • Frustrations...it's all coming back
  • Honestly, I think I just find my him (my groupmate) cute. The eyes tho.
  • Coming back to FEU brings back a lot of good memories.
  • My sleeping pattern is effed up again.
  • I'm planning to study more about photography. (Sayang ang camera ko please)
  • Going back to sports writing soon. Good luck!
  • Addicted to Flower Grandpa Investigative Team
  • Back to zero crush life again. *cuts wrist*
  • I want to get fat!
HAHA. Halatang tamad mag-elaborate eh no.