Early morning realizations

Lately, I've been asking myself what I really want to do in my life. After my 3-month training, I'm back with my unproductive self, and doing exactly nothing just like last year. Honestly, I really want to work already but opportunities aren't even coming my way.

Earlier this week, I searched for some BPO-related jobs online. Luckily, I was invited for an interview in a company somewhere in BGC. I went there not knowing what to do. I just thought that I'll just go with the flow. If ever they'll accept me, then it's good. If not, then maybe I'll just think about it later. I was just desperate to have a job that's why I tried my luck there. They told me that the result will be released after a day, and unluckily, I didn't received any email from them. Turns out, I failed.

A day before my interview, I told myself that if I won't get hired, maybe that job isn't for me. And it looks like it. Actually, I'm just the one pressuring myself to get a job because I feel that I'm already a heavy burden to my family. Well, I still get allowances from Lola and Papa and I never heard them ranting about my unemployment or even pressuring me to look for a job. I should've applied for a job after I passed the exam, but I chose to get a rest instead.

Sometimes, I blame myself for choosing a course that doesn't have good job opportunities. I know that Nursing isn't in demand nowadays, or even during my college life but I still pursued it. I also thought about shifting to Mass Communications but because of Nanay's last wish, I continued Nursing. There are times that I think I suck in my decisions but I know later on, I will learn from it.

Last Sunday, I started watching Emergency Couple. I enjoyed that drama because it was set in a hospital's ER. Of course, there will be patients, doctors, and especially nurses. Unknowingly, I was already shouting in front of my laptop on what the doctors and the nurses should do, and even brainstorming (on my own) on what was the patient's diagnosis. And because of that, I realized what I really want to do in life. I want to be a person who will save other people, and make them feel well. I guess I was really born to be a life saver. LOL. I wanted to be a doctor, in the first place. But because of some circumstances, I decided not to pursue it anymore and chose to be a nurse instead. Well, they're performing almost the same and works side by side. I guess, I should just stick with  my own profession :)

I guess I just have to endure any problems that will go along my way. I'm fortunate to have a good family, and I know that time will come, and I will be able to repay what they've done. This unemployment will surely come to an end. I should work well, pray hard, and trust whatever God has planned for me.

------
I've been worrying a lot these days. Well, I felt better after blogging this one :)