Mild anxiety

Sabi nga ni Mark Dagli (my former classmate), okey lang magka-mild anxiety dahil healthy ito sa panahon ngayon. Well actually, parang gusto ko pa pindutin ang panic button dahil 21 days na lang at NLE na. Honestly, hindi pa ako ganun ka-ready sa NLE. I know my reviewers are all good and I learned a lot from them, but iba pa rin pag ikaw na mismo sa sarili mo. These past few days, my anxiety was pretty relieved when I visited Nanay's grave. It was nice to share my thoughts and feelings to her kahit na nakikita naman nya ako at nababasa nya kung ano naiisip ko. 

I wanna scold myself again for skipping my class earlier. Di ko kinaya magising dahil antok na antok ako sa kaka-self review. Siguro ganun talaga, sa lahat ng ginagawa mo, may mga bagay kang kelangang sina-sacrifice. Even though di ako pumasok, I still made my day a productive one. Yeah, productive dahil nagreview naman ako mag-isa. I reviewed some of my MedSurg concepts and answered some sample questions. Now, I just finished anwering a pre-board preparation exam and unluckily, I failed. I know that disappointments will come my way to tear me down, but no, I won't let it ruin my dream! I still have few more days to go to study and make things "perfect." As far as I observed, di naman ako totally bobey sa ilang questions eh, medyo nagkakamali lang ako dahil sa clinical judgments ko. Yes, we need to stick and follow a certain judgment para maging tama ang sagot namin. Di pwedeng eto-yung-gusto-ko judgment, dapat may clinical basis.

I really envy my classmates who have their study buddies. Iba pa rin kasi yung may kasama ka mag-review kasi may nakaka-share ka ng knowledge and insights. And I pity myself for being a loner dahil nagso-solo ako sa mga bagay na may makakasama naman ako. I admit that Im good when it comes to group review, ewan ko ba, napansin ko lang to nung 1st year college pero hindi ko na nagawa after nun. Any, going solo is really a struggle dahil nung una pa lang, di ko alam kung paano ko sisimulan yung mga bagay bagay. Chaos lang talaga. Last week, I asked my classmate na kung pwede kaming mag-review sa apartment nya since solo lang sya. She agreed pero nung huli, waley na. One reason why I wanted her to be my review buddy because her notes are all complete (and since I skipped a lot of our sessions, I badly need her copies). Hay, feeling ko lang tuloy parusa sakin to dahil andami kong absences. :( Last Wednesday, I asked another classmate of mine to get me some copies of MedSurg since I will be going somewhere and she agreed. Then yesterday, I asker her about those copies and told me that she forgot to get some extra copies for me. I really felt bad, parang wala na ata akong maaasahan. But then again, I blamed myself because it's still my fault anyway. Umasa ako sa isang tao na wala namang pakialam sa classmate nya. Sorry for this pero para sakin naging "selfish" sya in a way na parang wala man lang syang empathy, and kasalanan ko rin kasi iba yung inuna ko. Minsan talaga fail ako pagdating sa decision-making. 

Kahit na medyo may struggle ako sa review, there are still a lot of people who makes me feel loved and empowered. Thanks to my Advo family for cheering me up and for reminding me to "top the board exam." I know it's hard to reach and still impossible as of this moment, but who knows, miracle might just happen in June 2-3 :) Thank you to my ate-slash-classmate who scolds me whenever I skip classes, arrive late in our review, and tweet while taking the exams. Thank you ate for making me feel guilty when you scold me, feeling ko tuloy may nanay ako sa review ;)  Thank you also to a friend of mine na lagi akong pinagsasabihan na nag-cut ng class pag nahuhuli nya ako sa Twitter. Sorry pows. If you happen to read this, 2 days after mo mag-tweet, absent uli ako. Sorry for breaking my promise again.

Lastly, thank you Blogger for being there for me. Actually medyo nahihiya ako kasi naturingan akong writer pero pansin ko lang sa last post ko, sabog na sabog yung diwa ko. And I don't purely write in English. Pero sabi nga ni Dairen sa post nya dati, mas okey pag Filipino kasi mae-express mo talaga yung nararamdaman mo.

I still have a lot of time to review, no need to stress myself. I'll just enjoy answering those questions and nail the board exam. 21 days to go, at kelangan ko ng patunayan na si Future Nurse Lei, magiging Registered Nurse Lei :)

Final 1st semester

Sabihin ko man na kalmado, positive and chill ako these past few days, pero tonight, kinakabahan na ako para bukas.

Lemme assess 1st semester

• Busy sa research. Trust me, di kami makaka-1.25 kung di namin pinaghirapan yun. We failed 4 times and yet tumayo kami more than 5 times.
• Skipped NOL sessions. Bagong balita ba yan?
• Skipped NCI-NCA classes. Ang alam ko, once lang ako nawala sa NCA, pero 3 or 4 times ata sa NCI.
• Better grades in NCM concepts 2 and 4. Yes, di na sya palakol o buntis gaya nung 1st sem last year.
• A lot more sensitive because of Elective. Oh yeaah! Yan ang subject na lagi akong pinapaiyak.
• Ngarag sa duty lalo na sa NRMF. Swear, basag bungo ko sa medicine computation.
• Coverage. As usual, pasok na pasok sa sked ko. HAHA. Kaso ngarag ako kasi laging article ko ang nattsambang hinihintay para maiprint na ang dyaryo. After game, pasa agad.
• Lumuluwag na turnilyo sa RLE. HAHAHA. Isa pa yan eh! Nagkaroon ako ng "slump" keme.
• Late na pagdating ni LOVELIFE (edit:CRUSHLIFE!). Ngayong sem lang na to ako nawalan ng lovelife. 1st year 1st sem: Zeke. 2nd year 1st sem: TR. 3rd year 1st sem: Joshua. 4th year 1st sem: ???.. Well, pwede na ring si (deleted 2017) bilang madalas kaming magkasama ulit. HAHAHA. Joke lang. Pero si Joshua talaga eh. Pasulpot-sulpot sya. Pero dumarating sya sa panahong down ako tapos pag nagkausap kami, biglang shoot up ang grades/quizzes/exams ko gaya ng hina-highblood na tao! Yun pala yun eh. Kaso late na talaga sya bumalik ng medyo matagal. Ayun lang.

What went wrong?

• Yung paasa na grade sa Elective. grabe, may CI akong napa-comment bigla ah. Kasi si Mam ambaba magbigay ng grade tapos wala naman kaming inaatupag kundi lecture. mas mabuti pang nagssharing kami lagi.
• Yung NCA and NCI na di ko deserve. SRSLY? mas mataas pa sakin yung di pumapasok?
• NCM. Nakita ko 2 concept grades ko, pasok pa sa 2.25 yun. BAKIT 2.75 lang? parang di ako nag-aral ng matino ah!
• THESIS: masyadong nagfocus? pati ibang obligasyon nawala?
• 14 units. IKAKAMATAY KO TO!

Honestly, naiinggit ako sa mga nakakakuha ng line of 1 na GWA. Pero iba naman kaso ko sa kanila eh. NURSING ako. 14 UNITS ang subject ko. Anlaking difference diba? 

Gaya nga ng sabi ni Ate Chin. THINK POSITIVE! :)

Absences

Yes, I'm very particular with my absences for this year. Actually, nung 3rd year-1st sem, once lang ako umabsent (Ethics, Humanities, Rizal, all in one day) dahil sa FEU-Adamson Semis Game 1. Ako kasi yung nag-volunteer na magcover nun bilang puro majors ang klase nina Tito Ace and Cindy. Pero, super dami naman ang absences ko sa NOL. HAHAHA. Diba sabi ko nga kanina eh "very particular" ako, eto tuloy, nililista ko mga absences ko.

NCM
1st day of classes pa lang eh wala na ko dito kasi tinamad ako bumangon. HAHA. Gandang rason diba? So natulog na lang talaga ako nun. :)

Elective
Same din with NCM. Dalawa lang kasi subject ko nung 1st day eh :)

NCI
Umabsent ako dito dahil sa FEU vs Adamson game last week. Eh kasi naman, di talaga ako manunuod. Eh kaso pagdating ko ng office, nag-aya si Armen, ayun absent na tuloy. Hirap talaga umayaw sa barkada :))

NCA
Absent ako nung Thursday! Almost 1:30 na kasi natapos yung media prep  namin for research, tapos nag-lunch pa kami ni Ate Reich kaya ayun, di na ko nakapasok.

Research
Sa lahat ng di ko papasukan, eto pa? Actually, sarap ng tulog ko kaya napabayaan ko to. Super kaba ko kasi may quiz yata kami. IM DEAD! Tapos di pa nagrereply yung Co-Leader ko, kaya feeling ko galit sila sakin. Waaaaah.

NOL
Kailangan pa bang isama to? Ayun, as usual eh lagi akong wala dito. Pero sorry na lang, 3 lang absent ko dito, out of 6 :))))


--Sorry na, napakatamad ko yatang bata. Di na ko papasobra ng absent dyan. SWEAR! :)