So ayun nga, second night na akong nag-iisa sa bahay and it's now 4:45am in our clock. Since nag-iisa lang ako sa bahay, I have to make sure na vigilant ako lagi. Baka may pumasok bigla at *insert creepy or horrible situation here*. I know that Lola's really worried kasi ngayon lang ako naiwang mag-isa sa apartment lalo na't for 2 weeks.
And to keep me awake, nagbo-browse na lang ako ng old pics sa Facebook ko and nakikipagdaldalan na rin sa Twitter. And for tonight, si Kuya Mosh O. yung kakwentuhan at kakulitan ko. HIHI, crush ko yun eh, di lang pahalata, kunwari kumu-Kuya :)) He's really mabait, makulit and a man with a substance. Pwede ko na bang sabihin na kagaya ni Kuya Mosh ang ideal man ko? LOL again. :))) And while tweeting, nakikinig naman ako sa favorite late night-slash-early morning radio show ko, The Morning After sa RX 93.1. Cool sya kasi they're playing cool songs and halos lahat eh bago. So medyo updated na rin ako sa mga new songs ko. Last week, nakinig din ako dito and fun sya. DJ Alven is the man! Kanina, twice nabasa yung post ko, yung sa Facebook and sa Twitter. Binati pa yung Advo (ewan ko lang kung may taga-Advo pa na gising nun) :) Last week, binasa rin yung post ko. hihi. Nakakatuwa lang yung pagkakabasa ng name ko kanina, kung last week eh Lheajane Socrateees (slang syempre), kanina eh Lheajane Socrates (Soh-khreeyhts) :)))) COOL! Tapos kaloka pa yung @tweetnirizal, ni-like ko lang yung isang tweet nya na nakita ko lang sa news feed tapos nagtweet ssakin ng quote ni Socrates. HAHA. Define my night: COOL. :D
----
Kahapon, napaka-pasaway ko lang. Pinapapunta ako ni Cindy ng 2pm, nagreply ako, then nakatulog ulit and dumating ng FEU ng 5:30 pm. HAHA. Ako na late diba? tapos nung pauwi, nagke-crave ako sa SISIG. :)))) Naglilihi teh?
Any, ilang araw pa akong magtitiis ng ganito. Later, pupunta ako kina Tita para bumisita :) KGOPUSH!
Monday, April 2, 2012
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Backpacking with Ate Reich
Last Saturday, Ate Reich and I went to Tagaytay just to escape the city and to have fun :) We met at Recto Station as early as 8am and rode a bus to Tagaytay in Lawton. We kept on talking and sharing stories until I fell asleep (di ko tuloy nakita yung Imus :P) We arrived in Tagaytay past 10am, the bus dropped off passengers at Olivarez and rode a jeepney to Picnic Grove.
Since I was really hungry that I had headache already, we had our early lunch at a nearby resto. Then went straight to Picnic Grove and took lots of pictures. I missed that place and still reminds me of our roadtrip with Mommy, my cousins and most especially Nanay. We didn't tried zipline yet we walked around and explored the place. After that, we went to People's park in the Sky. Actually I've already been there before that's why I know the place. It was really cold while on the way yet it's cool since you gotta experience the breeze of the wind and made my hair messy. It was the highest part of Tagaytay so we've seen some fogs and enjoyed the cold air in spite of wearing summer attire (knitted sando and shorts), good thing I brought my favorite jacket with me. Going up to the park was a bit tiring and it took us almost 7 minutes to be up there, while going down took us only 4 minutes or less.We had an ample time there to sit down, relax, and continue all the talking. Seeing and feeling (yes! we felt the fogs' coolness with our flesh) the fogs was quite fun. And I was like a 5-year old kid saying "foooooooogs!" :)))) And the place down the PPS was really cool. It will remind you of Forks (Twilight) because of those trees which are similar of that of the film. Since mommy is planning to visit Tagaytay Highlands on June, probably we'll drop by the area, YEAY!
After People's park, we decided to go to Tierra de Maria Shrine in front Developmental Academy of the Philippines. It's a sacred place where you'll see a 50-feet tall statue of Our Lady of Manaoag. People from different places go there and pray for their adorations or wishes. Some things had changed in the place since I last June 2010. Ate and I bought rings with the crucifix in it. Unluckily, the ring that I was able to buy only fitted in my pinkie finger :)) Since we're hungry again, we went to Starbucks near Silang crossing and a beautiful view welcomed us again. It was a lot better if you want to see the volcano closer. The area was as cold as the PPS. To be able to have a better thermoregulation in our body, we had coffee and some bread to feed us. I had signature hot chocolate and my ever-favorite cinnamon swirl while looking at the beautiful scenic view. How I wish I could go near the volcano's crater. I've been interested in geology since I was young. Well, I cant deny that since I have those set of books bought by my mom when I was only a year old then, kept by Nanay and Lola til 4 and discovered those treasures (I mean books) by myself (pakialamera :P). I spent my time lying on my bed with closed door and silence all over then concentrated with my reading. So when Ate and I talked about those stuff, and our geeky selves were unleashed :))
After we ate, we took some pictures and also roamed the place. Then we sneaked in a nearby family resto just to have those photo opts with the place. HAHA. The place was cool and relaxing and there came the fog again so it's cold again. Then, we waited for a bus at 6pm and we're back in Manila by 9pm. And I was sleeping all throughout the trip and Ate Reich, as always, was vigilant and widely awake :))
That was my first time to have a roadtrip by means of commuting. We really had fun :)
Enjoy!
Since I was really hungry that I had headache already, we had our early lunch at a nearby resto. Then went straight to Picnic Grove and took lots of pictures. I missed that place and still reminds me of our roadtrip with Mommy, my cousins and most especially Nanay. We didn't tried zipline yet we walked around and explored the place. After that, we went to People's park in the Sky. Actually I've already been there before that's why I know the place. It was really cold while on the way yet it's cool since you gotta experience the breeze of the wind and made my hair messy. It was the highest part of Tagaytay so we've seen some fogs and enjoyed the cold air in spite of wearing summer attire (knitted sando and shorts), good thing I brought my favorite jacket with me. Going up to the park was a bit tiring and it took us almost 7 minutes to be up there, while going down took us only 4 minutes or less.We had an ample time there to sit down, relax, and continue all the talking. Seeing and feeling (yes! we felt the fogs' coolness with our flesh) the fogs was quite fun. And I was like a 5-year old kid saying "foooooooogs!" :)))) And the place down the PPS was really cool. It will remind you of Forks (Twilight) because of those trees which are similar of that of the film. Since mommy is planning to visit Tagaytay Highlands on June, probably we'll drop by the area, YEAY!
After People's park, we decided to go to Tierra de Maria Shrine in front Developmental Academy of the Philippines. It's a sacred place where you'll see a 50-feet tall statue of Our Lady of Manaoag. People from different places go there and pray for their adorations or wishes. Some things had changed in the place since I last June 2010. Ate and I bought rings with the crucifix in it. Unluckily, the ring that I was able to buy only fitted in my pinkie finger :)) Since we're hungry again, we went to Starbucks near Silang crossing and a beautiful view welcomed us again. It was a lot better if you want to see the volcano closer. The area was as cold as the PPS. To be able to have a better thermoregulation in our body, we had coffee and some bread to feed us. I had signature hot chocolate and my ever-favorite cinnamon swirl while looking at the beautiful scenic view. How I wish I could go near the volcano's crater. I've been interested in geology since I was young. Well, I cant deny that since I have those set of books bought by my mom when I was only a year old then, kept by Nanay and Lola til 4 and discovered those treasures (I mean books) by myself (pakialamera :P). I spent my time lying on my bed with closed door and silence all over then concentrated with my reading. So when Ate and I talked about those stuff, and our geeky selves were unleashed :))
After we ate, we took some pictures and also roamed the place. Then we sneaked in a nearby family resto just to have those photo opts with the place. HAHA. The place was cool and relaxing and there came the fog again so it's cold again. Then, we waited for a bus at 6pm and we're back in Manila by 9pm. And I was sleeping all throughout the trip and Ate Reich, as always, was vigilant and widely awake :))
That was my first time to have a roadtrip by means of commuting. We really had fun :)
Enjoy!
in front of Picnic Grove
with Ate Reich
People's Park in the Sky
the breath-taking shot!
And Ate hugs Spongebob's haven
At Tierra de Maria
Taal's view at Starbucks Tagaytay. Much closer than PG
Very Glee?
Outside Starbucks Tagaytay. Much better picture with the volcano
At Leslie's resto :)
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Eto na naman tayo
KUMUSTA na Lhea Jane Socrates Bagona, the future RN?
AAAAAAH! Eto na naman ako sa pagiging fail ko. And for the nth time this sem, LATE na naman ako sa pagpasa. EEEEEEEEEH :(
Anyare sayo Lhea? Nagawa mo na lahat, kumain, natulog, nagpahinga, at nagmall ka na, pero waley ganap pa rin? Gawa-gawa din, okey?
AAAAAAH! Eto na naman ako sa pagiging fail ko. And for the nth time this sem, LATE na naman ako sa pagpasa. EEEEEEEEEH :(
Anyare sayo Lhea? Nagawa mo na lahat, kumain, natulog, nagpahinga, at nagmall ka na, pero waley ganap pa rin? Gawa-gawa din, okey?
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Decisions
HELL WEEK? Naaah. :)
First, bakit ba Decisions ang title ng blog ko? Umm, wala lang :D
IDK kung alam ng lahat na dream ko mag-CSR for FEU kaso maraming di pwede. First, NURSING ako: hectic sked, thesis, plus acads. Second, Di talaga pwede, FOR NOW.
That CSR dream started when I was still in 2nd year, then 3rd year 1st sem, and ngayong birthday ko. Me and my bestfriend were watching UAAP, then biglang nag-commercial for CSR auditions. So my BFF insisted that I should give it a try; send resume and hope that I would get a call back. I told her na di pwede dahil nga sa mga reason na nabanggit ko. Pero sabi niya, i-try ko lang daw, wala namang masama and experience naa rin once naka-graduate na ako and mag--aapply ako.
I told Sir Ian about this thing (dahil tinanong niya ako dati kung gusto ko raw sumali) and asked me to come to his office. He explained to me the drills on the courtside and showed me some videos in the huddle and some practice reports by Andy before. He asked me to make a short report and deliver it. Medyo ma-technical yung gawa ko, more likely parang article (siguro dahil sanay ako sa ganun). And then, he also took a video of me while doing the reporting (di ako comfortable magsalita sa harap ng camera. HAHA). Ang awkward tignan nung mukha ko eh, naka-duty uniform ba naman. I know that its really difficult to speak in front of camera and make a report right away. Aminado akong mabagal akong magsulat :D And the way I delivered the report, kulang sa confidence and parang di ko pa "performance level". Maybe I should practice more in front of the mirror.
Nung nalaman ko na yung pre-screening, which will be on Wed, di na ako umasa. Yeah, may duty ako. And besides naalala ko na "Oo nga pala, sasali alng ako sa pre-screening pero wala akong balak sumali ngayon. I'll be attending the pre-screening for 'experience'". magkaganun man, nag-practice pa rin akong magsalita kanina. HAHA. The last time I did some reporting was way back Sept 2010 for our Speech class. It was a Sports reporting and I got 100%. Nakalimutan ko na nga lang yung comment ni Mam pero she was happy that our team did very well.
This week, sabay yung Revalida and Editorial Exam plus NOL pa. Basag na utak ko nun panigurado. It'll be my second time to take the Sports editorial exam and medyo expected ko na yung mga tanong dun (if ever di magbago :D) Actually, wala akong planong mag-sign up for the exams (teka, di naman kami nag-sign up last year eh!) dahil sa andaming aasikasuhin next year. Di niyo ako masisisi kasi ako yung tao na mas iniisip yung mga mangyayari if ever (ugaling namana ko kina Lola at Nanay, ganun mag-isip yung mga yun, ADVANCED!). At dahil nga sa explanations ni Ate Reich, nagkaroon ako ng second thoughts. Napaisip ako sa sinabi ni Juneys na "yung ginagawa mo yung isang bagay tapos di mo alam kung ano ba talaga yung dahilan kung bakit mo ginagawa yun", (parang ganun). Iniisip ko, bakit ko nga ba ginagawa/gagawin to? Wala pa rin akong maisip na dahilan actually. Magte-take na lang ako ng exam, bahala na kung may maiisip ako na dahilan o wala. Maybe preoccupied lang talaga utak ko sa acads dahil sa bebe NCA ko, tapos dumagdag pa si Thesis lecture (partida isang fail na quiz lang at 2% decrease sa exam yung ganap dun?)
Kaya ko sineseryoso yung acads ko kasi ayokong iwan yung tinuturing kong 2nd home and family ko, and ayokong tumagal pa sa FEU, gusto ko na gumradweyt! Iba pala talaga yung pressure pag malapit ka na sa finish line. Kaya naiintindihan ko na sina Dairen, Kuya Bill, Beatty, Nikko at lahat ng mga graduating ngayon.
Oh well, EXAMS (acads), REVALIDA, and DEFENSE na muna aatupagin ko ngayon. Next year na si CSR at sa saturday na lang si ED EXAM. HAHA :D
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Hey MARCH!
KUMUSTA naman MARCH?
Grabe, feel na feel ko na ang buwan na to. Kung last month eh emotional ako, ngaayon naman eh NGARAG. Kelangang mag-double time para humabol sa grades. Ganun talaga! :)
So ayun nga, sinimulan ko ang buwan na to sa NOL. Feel kong tagilid ako dito, aminado ako, kaso kelangan kong gumalaw na. Eto yung consequence dun sa katamaran ko eh. Sana kahit matapos ko na lang yung Fundamentals, MCN and Psych Nsg. May time pa naman ako. Wala akong masabi sa session kanina, di ako inantok! :))))
Sa Nursing Research naman, nagkakagulo na kami. Sorry naman, 3 groups na raw kami. HAHA. Mabuhay si Azel! :)) Medyo nakakainis lang yung group leader namin, imba yung pagka-authoritative. Nag-eeffort akong maintindihan siya pero iba lang talaga ugali nun. Di siya madaldal pero iba trip niya sa buhay (pake ko sa trip niya sa buhay), tapos madali maimpluwensiyahan, pero matigas ang ulo, taklesa, akala niya siya lang nag-iisip.Pasensiya naman daw, parang hindi mga GC yung mga ka-grupo niya diba? Then, paagkatapos mong magpakapuyat sa &*%$+@!?^ thesis, sasabihan ka pang di nag-iisip? eh &*%$+@!?^ ka! Siya kaya utusan kong gumawa ng article, tignan natin kung makakagawa siya nun. Wagas lang umasta eh. Tapos isa pa, grabe makapag-reklamo, mapa-member man siya o leader. Ewan ko ba, dinadaan sa TANDA yung pagli-lead ng grupo namin pero kung sino pa yung umaastang MATATANDA, yun pa ang kulang sa MATURITY. Grow up KIDDOS, learn to adjust to your members, BITCHES.
Kung di lang ako busy sa ibang bagay, ako na talaga yung magle-lead ng grupo namin. Kaso, how will you lead a group na maraming nagmamagaling, nagpapaka-leader, na utang na loob pa namin na ginagawa niya lahat. Buong buhay ko, leader na ako sa grupo na kasama ako, pero kasi ni minsan di ako nagmalaki na AKO YUNG GUMAWA NG LAHAT. Kahit ako man gumawa, GROUP EFFORT pa rin paningin ko dun. Kumbaga, wag mong solohin ang lahat, kaya nga group eh. Tapos yung iba nagmamalinis pa, nakakainis diba?
MOVING ON!
Nursing Research lec naman, 2.75 ako dun. From 81.6, naging 76.9 (75 kasi base namin). Kainis diba? isang bagsak na quiz at exam lang, bumaba ng ganun? Tapos sasabihin pa ng group leader na ibabagsak niya kami sa peer eval? Subukan niya!
Yung NCA lec naman, tinulugan ko na naman kanina. Buti lang nung hapon, nag-Moonleaf ako kaya di ako inantok sa NOL. HAHA, gising diwa ko eh :D Sayang lang nung nag-exam kami, 1 na lang at 50 na ako. :|
Kahit gusto ko ng BB, iPad, D&G Light Blue perfume, hindi ko na hiningi kina Mommy, Papa at Lola, PRAYERS lang yung hinihingi ko. Alam ko namang darating din kami sa regaluhan part pero kasi mas importante to, STUDIES to eh. I dont wanna falter kung kelan malapit na ako. Konting kembot na lang eh! Tsaka maraming maaapektuhan pag bumagsak ako eh. Alam mo yung may babalikan akong subject, yung nag-iisang subject na di ka makakagraduate kung di mo maipapasa yun. BASTA! Kelangan kong pumasa, PAPASA AKO! :)
Wala na rin akong problem sa section namin maliban lang dun sa nai-confide ko kay Tito Juneys last time. Yung exam na ite-take ko for the second time yung hot topic ngayon. Buti lang di na kelangan magreview dun ah :DD
Dumako naman tayo sa usapang lovelife. EH? Magkatext na naman kami ni Joshua. EK? Nagsimula to nnung birthday ko, tapos natapilok siya kagabi at tinext ako to seek help. PERSONAL NURSE?? Pasalamat siya mabait ako. Sinabihan ko naman kung ano gagawin niya dun sa sprain niya. Ke malas na tao, kung kelan niya balak makipaglaro sa FEU Gym kinabukasan, dun pa natapilok ang loko. HAHA. Paraan na ni God yun na kami maaksidenteng magkita around Morayta. Aba, awkward yun ah. Pero mass masaya lang talaga pag nakasalubong ko siya na may kasama ako, kahit sino basta boylet. HAHA :D Bitterness aside (BITTERNESS ASIDE???), di naman ako apathetic sa kanya nung nagkakatext kami, siguro mas iniisip ko yung mga itetext ko sa kanya. Mahirap na, baka isipin niya eh pinapatulan ko kalandian niya sa katawan. Pasensya na, di kasi ako malandi eh :">
Tapos, eto yung balitang mainit-init pa. (Para sayo 'to Dairen! :'> ). May nakakagulat na tanong lang kasi si Dairen sakin kahapon, kung crush ko raw ba itong si friend (hulaan kung anong institute to). :D So natawa lang ako kasi wala talaga, siguro dahil lang sa kinukulit ko yun nung nakaraan. Eh mas natawa ako kasi ibinalik niya yung time na tinanong niya ako about JH, eh medyo aminado akong di ko sinabi yung totoo kay Dairen :)))) Kinwento ko sa friends ni friend yung sa tinanong ni Dairen, (ang daldal ko lang diba? sorry naman daw, di ako nahiyang i-share kasi di naman talaga totoo). Yung sinagot nung mga friends niya "Di naman si friend yung gusto mo eh, yung FRIEND nung si friend", HAHA, tapos sabay kain sa Hepalane :)))
Pagkatapos nung exam and revalida, papagupit ako ng bangs (di na full bangs ah!) at magpapa-rebond (kung may extra money) :))))
Si Lord na bahala sakin, magpupursigi ako this finals :)
Grabe, feel na feel ko na ang buwan na to. Kung last month eh emotional ako, ngaayon naman eh NGARAG. Kelangang mag-double time para humabol sa grades. Ganun talaga! :)
So ayun nga, sinimulan ko ang buwan na to sa NOL. Feel kong tagilid ako dito, aminado ako, kaso kelangan kong gumalaw na. Eto yung consequence dun sa katamaran ko eh. Sana kahit matapos ko na lang yung Fundamentals, MCN and Psych Nsg. May time pa naman ako. Wala akong masabi sa session kanina, di ako inantok! :))))
Sa Nursing Research naman, nagkakagulo na kami. Sorry naman, 3 groups na raw kami. HAHA. Mabuhay si Azel! :)) Medyo nakakainis lang yung group leader namin, imba yung pagka-authoritative. Nag-eeffort akong maintindihan siya pero iba lang talaga ugali nun. Di siya madaldal pero iba trip niya sa buhay (pake ko sa trip niya sa buhay), tapos madali maimpluwensiyahan, pero matigas ang ulo, taklesa, akala niya siya lang nag-iisip.Pasensiya naman daw, parang hindi mga GC yung mga ka-grupo niya diba? Then, paagkatapos mong magpakapuyat sa &*%$+@!?^ thesis, sasabihan ka pang di nag-iisip? eh &*%$+@!?^ ka! Siya kaya utusan kong gumawa ng article, tignan natin kung makakagawa siya nun. Wagas lang umasta eh. Tapos isa pa, grabe makapag-reklamo, mapa-member man siya o leader. Ewan ko ba, dinadaan sa TANDA yung pagli-lead ng grupo namin pero kung sino pa yung umaastang MATATANDA, yun pa ang kulang sa MATURITY. Grow up KIDDOS, learn to adjust to your members, BITCHES.
Kung di lang ako busy sa ibang bagay, ako na talaga yung magle-lead ng grupo namin. Kaso, how will you lead a group na maraming nagmamagaling, nagpapaka-leader, na utang na loob pa namin na ginagawa niya lahat. Buong buhay ko, leader na ako sa grupo na kasama ako, pero kasi ni minsan di ako nagmalaki na AKO YUNG GUMAWA NG LAHAT. Kahit ako man gumawa, GROUP EFFORT pa rin paningin ko dun. Kumbaga, wag mong solohin ang lahat, kaya nga group eh. Tapos yung iba nagmamalinis pa, nakakainis diba?
MOVING ON!
Nursing Research lec naman, 2.75 ako dun. From 81.6, naging 76.9 (75 kasi base namin). Kainis diba? isang bagsak na quiz at exam lang, bumaba ng ganun? Tapos sasabihin pa ng group leader na ibabagsak niya kami sa peer eval? Subukan niya!
Yung NCA lec naman, tinulugan ko na naman kanina. Buti lang nung hapon, nag-Moonleaf ako kaya di ako inantok sa NOL. HAHA, gising diwa ko eh :D Sayang lang nung nag-exam kami, 1 na lang at 50 na ako. :|
Kahit gusto ko ng BB, iPad, D&G Light Blue perfume, hindi ko na hiningi kina Mommy, Papa at Lola, PRAYERS lang yung hinihingi ko. Alam ko namang darating din kami sa regaluhan part pero kasi mas importante to, STUDIES to eh. I dont wanna falter kung kelan malapit na ako. Konting kembot na lang eh! Tsaka maraming maaapektuhan pag bumagsak ako eh. Alam mo yung may babalikan akong subject, yung nag-iisang subject na di ka makakagraduate kung di mo maipapasa yun. BASTA! Kelangan kong pumasa, PAPASA AKO! :)
Wala na rin akong problem sa section namin maliban lang dun sa nai-confide ko kay Tito Juneys last time. Yung exam na ite-take ko for the second time yung hot topic ngayon. Buti lang di na kelangan magreview dun ah :DD
Dumako naman tayo sa usapang lovelife. EH? Magkatext na naman kami ni Joshua. EK? Nagsimula to nnung birthday ko, tapos natapilok siya kagabi at tinext ako to seek help. PERSONAL NURSE?? Pasalamat siya mabait ako. Sinabihan ko naman kung ano gagawin niya dun sa sprain niya. Ke malas na tao, kung kelan niya balak makipaglaro sa FEU Gym kinabukasan, dun pa natapilok ang loko. HAHA. Paraan na ni God yun na kami maaksidenteng magkita around Morayta. Aba, awkward yun ah. Pero mass masaya lang talaga pag nakasalubong ko siya na may kasama ako, kahit sino basta boylet. HAHA :D Bitterness aside (BITTERNESS ASIDE???), di naman ako apathetic sa kanya nung nagkakatext kami, siguro mas iniisip ko yung mga itetext ko sa kanya. Mahirap na, baka isipin niya eh pinapatulan ko kalandian niya sa katawan. Pasensya na, di kasi ako malandi eh :">
Tapos, eto yung balitang mainit-init pa. (Para sayo 'to Dairen! :'> ). May nakakagulat na tanong lang kasi si Dairen sakin kahapon, kung crush ko raw ba itong si friend (hulaan kung anong institute to). :D So natawa lang ako kasi wala talaga, siguro dahil lang sa kinukulit ko yun nung nakaraan. Eh mas natawa ako kasi ibinalik niya yung time na tinanong niya ako about JH, eh medyo aminado akong di ko sinabi yung totoo kay Dairen :)))) Kinwento ko sa friends ni friend yung sa tinanong ni Dairen, (ang daldal ko lang diba? sorry naman daw, di ako nahiyang i-share kasi di naman talaga totoo). Yung sinagot nung mga friends niya "Di naman si friend yung gusto mo eh, yung FRIEND nung si friend", HAHA, tapos sabay kain sa Hepalane :)))
Pagkatapos nung exam and revalida, papagupit ako ng bangs (di na full bangs ah!) at magpapa-rebond (kung may extra money) :))))
Si Lord na bahala sakin, magpupursigi ako this finals :)
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
this is too much. I QUIT
Once again, ako na naman ang di nakapagpasa for nursing research. Ano na naman 'to? Gumawa naman ako kaso late lang, pinag-iisipan ko ng maayos yung ipapasa ko kaso mukhang worthless na ipasa . San pa ba ako lulugar. I hate our group leader for always putting me on the spotlight. She's always mad that's why I tend not to explain the reason why I wasn't able to pass this and that.
Am I that useless? Am I that stupid? Am I that irresponsible. Yes, I gave up some of my non-acads obligations yet still wasnt enough. Parang wala akong nakukuhang satisfaction sa buhay ko ngayon-- sa buhay ko sa ospital, sa buhay ko kasama yung mga groupmates ko na dapat sana eh magiging sandigan ko sa mga panahong ganito. It's hard for me but I really wanna get out from their shaddows. Im not that strong, I just show them I'm strong despite of whatever they say about me. I learned to hide my feelings because of my fear that they might just laugh at it. Despite of what they do, I remained to be as jolly, positive and energetic.
I believe that not all things go in your way. I really wanna quit, I QUIT. I quit being treated like a loser. I quit being the happy and the jolly person in our group. I quit to be a responsible member. And I quit to be a part of them They're the WORST PEOPLE I EVER KNOW. They don't even know the feelings of other people, as long as they make fun of it.
Kung pwede lang, I REALLY WANNA END THIS F*CKIN THING. AND I HATE MY COURSE. I HATE THEM ALL and I DONT WANNA SEE THEM AGAIN AFTER I STEP OUT IN FEU. THEY"RE ALL BITCHES, ASSHOLES, DEMONS AND RUTHLESS PEOPLE.
Sometimes, I search for someone who will comfort me in times that I feel bad or depressed. Someone who'll just listen to me and wont ask anything as long as he/she'll be there. I have a lot of friends yet not all of them can understand me, and what Im going through. I'm looking for a PARENT. A parent that will hug me whenever I arrive from duty, a parent that will listen to all my rants, a parent that will give me solid advices, and a parent that will remain calm though I'm already monster-like. I have a dad, a mommy, and a grandma, yet they're not here with me. Just like mommy told me once, Im all alone now, no one will take care of me, so I need to take care of myself and learn to stand up. I know that they'll be there whenever I need them, they;re just a call away except from my dad who's working in a far away sea. But what I need now is a parent, just like nanay. I think, I still have this depression because of her loss. It's really recurrent and whenever I have problems, it is always her that I always remember.
I already cried liters of tears tonight. That text message from our leader pierced my heart. How insensitive she is! I dont really know her, maybe she had that inferiority complex during her childhood that's why she manifest a superior character today. Of all the people na pwede siyang maging bitch, bakit ako pa? Am I that inferior-looking?
I wanna thank my ever-concerned groupmate, Leilani. After that hurtful text from Muri, she texted me : "Good eve lhea. baket naman nagpadelay ka sa research? haay cge magkwento ka na lang sakin sa pasukan. kc ang hirap lang kapag mauuwe ka sa ganyang judgment na xempre mukhang napasama. cge ilabas mo yang stress na yan. goodnyt".
Sa lahat ng groupmate ko, siya yugn nakakausap ko ng matino. We both have that matured-way of thinking or should i say a different perspective, may different from our groupmate who's older than us (20 and 21) and makes us inferior and manipulate us as much as they could. We understand each other, and I hope that she'll be my groupmate til we graduate. Aside from my acads problem, I'm also considering to take a break from Sports. I need to focus this time, just this time. And by next year, if ever I will still have that 2.5 GWA, i'll make up for everything I missed. I just need time for myself. It's weird but I need to focus on myself this time, and if I fail to do so, I might bid goodbye to my "family".
I dont want to be a failure. Iniisip ko kung ano pwedeng mangyari sakin and sa Papa ko, guguho mga mundo namin. Isang grade ang katumbas ng future ko. Kung yung iba, problema nila yung nakakuha sila ng dos sa isang subject at puro uno yung iba, akala nila katapusan na ng mundo. My classmates see me as the girl who holds the Best in Recitation award, Most Reacting award, but I'm not intelligent. I strive hard for every quiz that we have, I dont sleep just to make that homework and I try to understand every tiny info about Neuro and try to apply it to myself. Ginagawa ko 'to for my parents, ayokong biguin sila. We already sacrificed a lot, ngayon pa ako madadapa. I'm happy that they're proud of my achievements and I make them happy by not doing nasty things and not giving them problems (include boyfriend issue here). In short, wala silang sakit ng ulo sakin. Masaya si Papa kasi despite na di kami magkasama lagi sa 18 years na nabuhay ako, lumaki akong mabuting bata (believe me, Im mabait), kagaya ng gusto ng mama ko na maging anak niya. Im proud that my grandma and nanay raised me well kahit na wala akong father figure sa tabi ko. I envy those kids na kumpleto yung family yet ansasama ng ugali. Pano pa kaya kung wala silang parents. I thank those 2 special women in my life na dinisiplina nila ako ng mabuti, naging matured agad ako at a young age, and wala silang pagkukulang sakin, very hands on sila sa pagpapalaki sakin.
These adversities are just like typhoons that comes when you least expect it. It tests you how strong you are, if you're like that tall coconut tree that sways and goes with the wind yet still stands after that storm. Kung magiging halaman ako, siguro damo nalang ako. Kahit ilang beses mo apakan, buhay pa rin at makikita mo saan-saan. Yung damo na nagbibigay ng hope sa ibang tao. Di lahat ng damo, mababa. Yung iba naman tumatangkad gaya ng kawayan. Gaya nga ng sabi ng lola ko, isang lawis daw ako ng kawayan :)))
Sana maovercome ko to. Itutulog ko na lang muna para makapagpahinga na. Emotionally and physically stressed na ako. KAYA MO YAN LHEA, OKEY? MATAPANG KA, MAGALING KA MAGTAPANG-TAPANGAN, EXPERTISE MO YAN EH!
"Think positive!" --Ate Chin :)
Am I that useless? Am I that stupid? Am I that irresponsible. Yes, I gave up some of my non-acads obligations yet still wasnt enough. Parang wala akong nakukuhang satisfaction sa buhay ko ngayon-- sa buhay ko sa ospital, sa buhay ko kasama yung mga groupmates ko na dapat sana eh magiging sandigan ko sa mga panahong ganito. It's hard for me but I really wanna get out from their shaddows. Im not that strong, I just show them I'm strong despite of whatever they say about me. I learned to hide my feelings because of my fear that they might just laugh at it. Despite of what they do, I remained to be as jolly, positive and energetic.
I believe that not all things go in your way. I really wanna quit, I QUIT. I quit being treated like a loser. I quit being the happy and the jolly person in our group. I quit to be a responsible member. And I quit to be a part of them They're the WORST PEOPLE I EVER KNOW. They don't even know the feelings of other people, as long as they make fun of it.
Kung pwede lang, I REALLY WANNA END THIS F*CKIN THING. AND I HATE MY COURSE. I HATE THEM ALL and I DONT WANNA SEE THEM AGAIN AFTER I STEP OUT IN FEU. THEY"RE ALL BITCHES, ASSHOLES, DEMONS AND RUTHLESS PEOPLE.
Sometimes, I search for someone who will comfort me in times that I feel bad or depressed. Someone who'll just listen to me and wont ask anything as long as he/she'll be there. I have a lot of friends yet not all of them can understand me, and what Im going through. I'm looking for a PARENT. A parent that will hug me whenever I arrive from duty, a parent that will listen to all my rants, a parent that will give me solid advices, and a parent that will remain calm though I'm already monster-like. I have a dad, a mommy, and a grandma, yet they're not here with me. Just like mommy told me once, Im all alone now, no one will take care of me, so I need to take care of myself and learn to stand up. I know that they'll be there whenever I need them, they;re just a call away except from my dad who's working in a far away sea. But what I need now is a parent, just like nanay. I think, I still have this depression because of her loss. It's really recurrent and whenever I have problems, it is always her that I always remember.
I already cried liters of tears tonight. That text message from our leader pierced my heart. How insensitive she is! I dont really know her, maybe she had that inferiority complex during her childhood that's why she manifest a superior character today. Of all the people na pwede siyang maging bitch, bakit ako pa? Am I that inferior-looking?
I wanna thank my ever-concerned groupmate, Leilani. After that hurtful text from Muri, she texted me : "Good eve lhea. baket naman nagpadelay ka sa research? haay cge magkwento ka na lang sakin sa pasukan. kc ang hirap lang kapag mauuwe ka sa ganyang judgment na xempre mukhang napasama. cge ilabas mo yang stress na yan. goodnyt".
Sa lahat ng groupmate ko, siya yugn nakakausap ko ng matino. We both have that matured-way of thinking or should i say a different perspective, may different from our groupmate who's older than us (20 and 21) and makes us inferior and manipulate us as much as they could. We understand each other, and I hope that she'll be my groupmate til we graduate. Aside from my acads problem, I'm also considering to take a break from Sports. I need to focus this time, just this time. And by next year, if ever I will still have that 2.5 GWA, i'll make up for everything I missed. I just need time for myself. It's weird but I need to focus on myself this time, and if I fail to do so, I might bid goodbye to my "family".
I dont want to be a failure. Iniisip ko kung ano pwedeng mangyari sakin and sa Papa ko, guguho mga mundo namin. Isang grade ang katumbas ng future ko. Kung yung iba, problema nila yung nakakuha sila ng dos sa isang subject at puro uno yung iba, akala nila katapusan na ng mundo. My classmates see me as the girl who holds the Best in Recitation award, Most Reacting award, but I'm not intelligent. I strive hard for every quiz that we have, I dont sleep just to make that homework and I try to understand every tiny info about Neuro and try to apply it to myself. Ginagawa ko 'to for my parents, ayokong biguin sila. We already sacrificed a lot, ngayon pa ako madadapa. I'm happy that they're proud of my achievements and I make them happy by not doing nasty things and not giving them problems (include boyfriend issue here). In short, wala silang sakit ng ulo sakin. Masaya si Papa kasi despite na di kami magkasama lagi sa 18 years na nabuhay ako, lumaki akong mabuting bata (believe me, Im mabait), kagaya ng gusto ng mama ko na maging anak niya. Im proud that my grandma and nanay raised me well kahit na wala akong father figure sa tabi ko. I envy those kids na kumpleto yung family yet ansasama ng ugali. Pano pa kaya kung wala silang parents. I thank those 2 special women in my life na dinisiplina nila ako ng mabuti, naging matured agad ako at a young age, and wala silang pagkukulang sakin, very hands on sila sa pagpapalaki sakin.
These adversities are just like typhoons that comes when you least expect it. It tests you how strong you are, if you're like that tall coconut tree that sways and goes with the wind yet still stands after that storm. Kung magiging halaman ako, siguro damo nalang ako. Kahit ilang beses mo apakan, buhay pa rin at makikita mo saan-saan. Yung damo na nagbibigay ng hope sa ibang tao. Di lahat ng damo, mababa. Yung iba naman tumatangkad gaya ng kawayan. Gaya nga ng sabi ng lola ko, isang lawis daw ako ng kawayan :)))
Sana maovercome ko to. Itutulog ko na lang muna para makapagpahinga na. Emotionally and physically stressed na ako. KAYA MO YAN LHEA, OKEY? MATAPANG KA, MAGALING KA MAGTAPANG-TAPANGAN, EXPERTISE MO YAN EH!
"Think positive!" --Ate Chin :)
Saturday, February 18, 2012
There's much in goodbye
Eh nagda-drama?
HAHA, sorry naman ah. Pansin ko kasi, unti-unti ng nawawala yung mga crush ko. Kung hindi nagpapakita, umaalis na, o di kaya mabalitaan ko na lang may jowa na. And yes, my "kuya" was right when he told me that my JH seems to be inlove recently, and confirmed, he's now in a relationship.
Kanina naman, I saw my crush (another crush, the cosplayer) with my batchmate and former colleague. I told my friend that I rarely see him in our place, and he replied that my crush quitted already.
Bakit ganun? Lahat na lang eh nawawala. Pati si Ricky, di ko na rin madalas makita though nakasama ko rin sila nina HZL and 5 sa ibat-ibang assignments. Am I really destined to be FOREVER ALONE?
I was all alone last Sunday in Gateway Cubao. To kill my boredom, I played basketball and took pictures of me in a photobooth. Yan ang SINGLE< independent! Wait, ikamamatay ko ba kung di ko na makikita yung mga crush ko? Hey! I survived 4 months na di ko nakikita si TR ah! HAHA. And I will really miss my bud since he's always with me whenever I was assigned to cover games. Iba pa rin ang single sa may kempet na.
Affected ba talaga ako o atat lang sa buhay. I dont see myself in a relationship for the next 2 years. I also consider to take NMAT next year and if God permits, enter a Med school and pursue my dream to be a pediatric-cardiologist. Mahirap magka-jowa sa med school ah! :DD
Im happy for my partner-in-cover's new life, we'll maybe I should look for something that will tickle my mind (tama ba?). For now, I should do well in our NCA and Nursing Research. I fear that I will get failing grades and yet fell short in 2.5 GWA. And as Ate Chin reminds me always, THINK POSITIVE. You'll attract the positive vibes and might pass subjects because of my optimistic character and mind :)
--back to my T&F bebe article :D
HAHA, sorry naman ah. Pansin ko kasi, unti-unti ng nawawala yung mga crush ko. Kung hindi nagpapakita, umaalis na, o di kaya mabalitaan ko na lang may jowa na. And yes, my "kuya" was right when he told me that my JH seems to be inlove recently, and confirmed, he's now in a relationship.
Kanina naman, I saw my crush (another crush, the cosplayer) with my batchmate and former colleague. I told my friend that I rarely see him in our place, and he replied that my crush quitted already.
Bakit ganun? Lahat na lang eh nawawala. Pati si Ricky, di ko na rin madalas makita though nakasama ko rin sila nina HZL and 5 sa ibat-ibang assignments. Am I really destined to be FOREVER ALONE?
I was all alone last Sunday in Gateway Cubao. To kill my boredom, I played basketball and took pictures of me in a photobooth. Yan ang SINGLE< independent! Wait, ikamamatay ko ba kung di ko na makikita yung mga crush ko? Hey! I survived 4 months na di ko nakikita si TR ah! HAHA. And I will really miss my bud since he's always with me whenever I was assigned to cover games. Iba pa rin ang single sa may kempet na.
Affected ba talaga ako o atat lang sa buhay. I dont see myself in a relationship for the next 2 years. I also consider to take NMAT next year and if God permits, enter a Med school and pursue my dream to be a pediatric-cardiologist. Mahirap magka-jowa sa med school ah! :DD
Im happy for my partner-in-cover's new life, we'll maybe I should look for something that will tickle my mind (tama ba?). For now, I should do well in our NCA and Nursing Research. I fear that I will get failing grades and yet fell short in 2.5 GWA. And as Ate Chin reminds me always, THINK POSITIVE. You'll attract the positive vibes and might pass subjects because of my optimistic character and mind :)
--back to my T&F bebe article :D
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