There's no harm in TRYING..

Yes, word of the day, TRYING :)

While on my way to Cainta, I received a text message from a familiar number, and it's from Joshua saying "Hi" while I replied "Hello". Up until now, I still find it weird that he still texts me almost every week and during my hospital duty days. I dont wanna assume but maybe, nakasanayan na lang siguro talaga niya akong i-text. Ako lang naman kase hindi nagtetext sa kanya. Nung mga panahon na galit ako sa kanya, I tried my very best not to miss him though I do. Nung kelangan ko ng makakausap gaya ng mga pag-uusap namin dati, dinadaan ko na lang sa blog, diary, or kinukwento ko na lang sa mga friends ko. Hirap lang i-explain but iba pa rin siya eh. Okay, to make things clear as early as now, I don't have feelings for him anymore. K. So, ayun nga, tinanong niya ako kung bakit di pa ako nagsu-Sun, then sabi ko, hinihintay ko pa yung tawag ni Papa. And sabi niya, "ah okey ingat", and I replied "K" then after few minutes I texted him " Paki-erase na lang number ko ah".

Habang nasa byahe, iniisip ko pa rin yung sinabi ko na burahin niya number ko sa phone niya. He should've done that nung nagalit ako sa kanya, there's no reason that he should text me again, and wala na rin siyang dapat i-explain dahil di naman talaga siya nag-explain. Inabot din ako ng almost a month to move on (yes, that's a much better word to explain everything), thanks to my friends who are always there to cheer me up, Cindy, Dairen, Yon, and my best-est seatmate JA (he knows everything! simula nung naghihinala pa lang siya about kay Joshua hanggang sa mga move on keme, alam niya). 

I won't deny the fact na super nagalit din ako sa kanya, (refer to Open Letter....) but I dont want to be 'bitter' forever. Gaya nga ng sabi ni JA sakin lagi "Alam mo, ang bitter mo!". Yes, bitter na kung bitter, pero I need to resolve things as early as now, habang may chance na maaayos pa. Yes, palagay ko,maaayos pa to given na he still trying to reach out to me, still communicating (though I always reply him lamely), and he wants me to be one of his best friend. I told him that it will take time for me to accept his friendship, yet he answered me that he's willing to wait until I fully accept his sorry. Marami akong nababasa na I should resolve my problems or conflicts, pero huli na nung nag-sink in na sakin. Siguro, I should start fixing things.. 

Me: (Kunwari GM) "Since ayaw ni Papa na mag-change ako ng number for the lone reasen na hindi raw niya alam kung paano tumawag sa sun, looks like I'll be using this number forever. Kindly save it again kids and text me if you want :) "
Him: Kids?
Me: haha, other name for guys :)
Him: Ah..
Me: haha, aga ata ng gising mo ah
Him: oo nga.. Aga ng practice eh.. OTW pa lang ako. haha
Me: ah ingat! Maaga akong nakauwi galing duty kaso di pa ako inaantok :D good luck sa practice.
Him: Ahhh kaen ka na. Ok salamat. Namiss mo ako? haha
Me: Nakakain na 'ko, busog nga eh. Nag-mcdo ako bago umuwi :) haha, kapal! Pasalamat ka wala akong kakwentuhan. [leche, lakas ng tama nung loko, asaness siya!]

 Him: Ahh.. Hanep mcdo pa sya ah. haha.. talaga lang huh? So di mo pala ako namiss. Namiss kasi kita eh. Oha. Hahaha [kapal neto ah! amfeeling, shet!]

 Me: haha, eh gusto ko kasi breakfast nila dun though magastos lang :) Loko, as if naman. Wala ka lang kase kakwentuhan kaya ganun.

Him: Ahh.. Sabagay! Ngek, kaw na nga lang nirereplyan ko eh. Oha, bat mo pala ako dinelete sa fb? haha, ano ba yan Miho. hehe [Leche, sinama pa Miho]

Me: Anung ako lang nirereplyan mo? SAUCE! Edi i-add mo na lang ako ulit. Wala namang matinong makikita sa fb ko eh..

Him: Wala! nevermind. Ngek.. Kaw nag-delete, ako mag-aadd? Haha, ayos.. Kaw bahala.. Ge dito na ako. Brb

Me: Eh alangan naman na ako nagdelete tapos ako mag-aadd ulit. Sounds crazy. Haha. Good luck!

Him: Ok. Kaw bahala. Sige Thanks.

Medyo matino na rin kami mag-usap ngayon compared last month, na parang wala kaming ka-gana gana sa buhay, tapos ang lame pa sumagot at parang pareho lang kaming galit sa mundo.. Masasabi ko namang okey na yung ganito. He's still a friend, and this month marks our 1st year as friends (Nov 2010 ko siya nakilala and, Nov 29 kami unang nagkita. Yes? naaalala ko?). He just failed me once, but he gave me numerous smiles, laughs and motivation. I just hope this will turn out well. Ayoko na ng may nakakasamaan ng loob, or it was just only me na masama ang loob. Oh well, 32 days before christmas, dapat good girl na ako :)

There's no harm in TRYING. Yeah, no harm talaga. Good thing I tried to be good to him this time, and ganun din naman siya. Good luck to us.