Actually, I wanna write something about defense mechanisms but I really can't organize my mind right now so I just opted to do a "freestyle" one instead of a "structured" type.
I feel like I let my defense mechanisms reign over me. I dunno, it's just that I let denial, reaction formation, suppression and rationalization to make it up for me. Honestly, it sounds like I'm having a psych problem, but nah, I know I'm still normal.
I'm feeling this because of one reason that I don't want to divulge. If you're thinking that something happened to me, naah. Anyway, that "thing" is one of the reason's why I'm not into Facebook lately. I already know why I'm being like "this", but my defense mechs are overpowering "this" feeling. I thought I'm finally okay. I thought, "pooling" resolved this already. But no, "this" is not yet over.
Do I really sound like a psychopath now? Haha.
It's hard to admit to yourself that you feel this kind of emotion but you better not show it because of your fear of being misjudged. It's not bad to feel it. What will makes it bad is if you insist what you're feeling to other people.
This is one of the things I hate being a writer, because I can't stop writing. Some says that when you're already over it, you'll stop writing about it. But since you're reading this, it means one thing, I'm not yet over it.
*cue Starting Over Again*
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